


The Hardest Part Of Ending (Is Starting Again)

by Elvarya85



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: -spoiler alert-, Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, M/M, Reincarnation, Shower Sex, aesir!tony, aesir!tony is my favorite tony, au notes within because there are many, but i was attacked by shieldhusbands halfway through, but it's not really self-harm?, especially because it let me venture into teenage!frostiron within here, hence background shieldhusbands, i should probably put in a warning for self-harm, if that makes sense, loki self-abuses a bit but it's not for usual self-harm reasons, okay frostiron is the main ship, this is not a happy fic, tony is reincarnated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 10:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvarya85/pseuds/Elvarya85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Few remembered where their story began.<br/>Because through everything, they had endured.<br/>Through thousands of years and countless lives and deaths and all the time apart spent searching for each other.<br/>Whether they realized it or not, they were searching.<br/>Always searching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest Part Of Ending (Is Starting Again)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this was meant to be like, 5k and cute but now I have this monster of a fanfic which killed my nano this year and wow this took like a month to complete but I FINISHED IT YES YES YES!
> 
> Frostiron reincarnation AU! This idea just kind of ran away with itself and I had so much fun with it.
> 
> Um, a few AU notes. It's mostly set within the MCU, but I guess, just use your imagination? Everything that happened before Avengers is true in this, and most of the general events, but I kind of, shall we say, twisted the events of Avengers? Like, the events happened the same, but some of the emotional responses are different. Nothing is really explicitly stated, though. Basically, if anything differs from Avengers, that's just because I twisted things to fit my AU.
> 
> Also, Phil is alive. I offer no explanation for this. He just never died.
> 
> Also, the title was shamelessly stolen from Waiting For The End by Linkin Park. Amazing song, fits this fic better than it should.

Few remembered where their story began.

Because through everything, they had endured.

Through thousands of years and countless lives and deaths and all the time apart spent searching for each other. 

Whether they realized it or not, they were searching.

Always searching.

It was kind of like the universe was forcing them to play a cosmic game of cat and mouse, repeated over and over through the ages. See how far it could make them bend and stretch and run to find the other.

They hadn’t failed to find each other yet, and Tony had commented at some point in one of his past lives, that he didn’t really want to know what would happen if they ever failed. Didn’t want to know how his own life would play out, how he’d survive it.

And then Loki had pressed a kiss to his lips, the candlelight flickering across his pale skin, and quieted him, promising that they’d always find each other, that they’d always be together.

There was a sort of cycle to their lives. Tony went through his life, directionless, doing what he could to get by and get through it, and he always searched for what was strangely absent. For whatever it was that could fill in the hole in his heart.

And Loki waited for him.

Of course, Tony always had been one for vice, and after the battle, after he’d seen Loki and watched as he was taken back to Asgard to be imprisoned, he’d turned to drinking, and spending days on end in his lab, tweaking the Iron Man suit to make it better, faster, flashier, etc., etc., etc.

It wasn’t uncommon of for him to go days without being heard from. Pepper would wander down and give him a sandwich, return a couple hours later to make sure he’d eaten it, and maybe give him a bowl of soup.

Tony felt bad about how he’d treated Pepper when they were together, he really did. She was good for him. She took care of him - because Lord knows he couldn’t take care of himself - and kept him in line, calling him out on his crap when he needed someone to do it for him.

But Tony knew that she’d never be the one for him.

She was just another attempt to fill the hole, one that had failed soon enough.

Pepper had only nodded when he broke it off, as if she’d been expecting it from the get-go.

Maybe she had been. Maybe she just knew him that well.

Tony would meet her gaze, murmur a thanks for the food, and she’d nod in reply and leave.

She knew there was no use in trying to get him out of the lab. There hadn’t been, not since the fight against Loki.

The moment Tony had seen Loki, he’d changed. Most people just thought it was a result of the battle. Seeing that much destruction and carnage could change someone. No one had expected it to happen to the great Tony Stark, but hey, it could happen.

They told themselves that, but no one really believed it.

Especially Pepper, who knew Tony better than anyone else. She couldn’t say anything, though. Or wouldn’t.

She’d just continue to take care of him, make sure he ate and, occasionally, slept.

Because what else could she do?

Because there was no way Tony could explain it to her. He’d seen Loki and he’d _known._ He’d known like he’d never known before.

Loki was the one, he was what would fill that void, as he had in the past lives that Tony could almost recall when he thought really hard and focused on one of the pictures of Loki that SHIELD had gotten before he’d disappeared back to Asgard.

* * *

Far away, in another realm, Loki laid on his side, feeling the bruises and abrasions. Self-inflicted, all of them.

He was thinner than ever, having refused to eat anything they gave him. He was being sustained by the magic of Asgard’s most powerful sorcerer, a man by the name of Jonas, brought to his aid at Thor’s insistence. 

The sorcerer’s power was laughable, though, and had Loki been at full strength, and had his powers not been subdued, he could have swept Jonas aside with a single utterance.

As it was, he was at the mercy of the Aesir, who didn’t exactly take kindly to beings trying to take over realms, especially those of his...heritage.

He was fairly certain that the only reason he hadn’t been executed on the spot was Thor’s insistence that he could be saved, rehabilitated.

No one had believed it, obviously, but they’d honored Thor’s wishes, and now here he was, chained and weak and just wishing for it all to end.

Personally, Loki thought it unlikely he’d ever be allowed out of his cell. Odin no doubt despised him (though he hadn’t actually seen the Allfather since he and Thor had made their grand return, when Odin had ordered him arrested) and Thor looked at him with nothing but sadness and pity. He’d taken to pretending to sleep when Thor would visit him, and still refused to answer when Thor figured out what Loki was doing.

Loki hadn’t spoken to anyone since he’d first been put in this stupid cell. For the first three days, he’d done nothing but scream. He’d shouted himself hoarse with profanities and then vows of revenge and then just guttural noises that he couldn’t stop if he tried.

Eventually, the shouting did subside, leaving Loki huddled on the cold, stone floor, bound in shackles that rubbed the skin at his wrists and ankles raw and sore, whimpering pathetically as he tried to ignore the hole in his heart, which had grown larger and larger since he’d been locked in the horrid place.

He can trace this particular pain back to a person, though. 

Tony Stark.

He’d laid eyes on the Man of Iron and felt a blaze of tender fire wash through him, and it hurt. He remembered all of it. All the lives he and Tony had had together, all the times he’d found Tony and loved him, cared for him, until his final day, at which point the dark emptiness would return and Loki would be forced to wait again.

He’d seen Tony, and it had hurt so badly, because his love, the one he cared for and prized above all else, the one who really meant anything...was his enemy. 

And then he’d been pulled back to Asgard, caught his final glimpse of Stark, and that’s when Loki’s life had essentially ended.

What a cruel twist the universe had invented this time. Placing them on different sides of a well-defined line. Making Stark hate the sound of his very name, no doubt.

And there Loki was, huddled in the shadows, whispering Tony’s name to feel that warmth again, to make the aches and the cold recede, if only for a moment.

* * *

The news was playing idly in the background. It was the anniversary of the invasion on Earth, a reporter said.

“Mute,” Tony ordered, not wishing to hear any more.

The reporter went silent, and somehow, the silence was louder than her voice had ever been, reverberating around the lab like the ring after the break of glass. Reminding Tony of just how alone he was.

_Everyone is alone inside their own heads,_ he thought to himself.

He was just glad no one else was stuck in there with him.

* * *

Thor came to visit Loki again. 

Loki kept his back to the door, hiding the scratch marks from his brother.

The door hadn’t been opened except for food since he’d been locked away.

The guards hadn’t laid a hand on him.

Rather, the scratches were a tally. Every day he’d been locked away. Every day the emptiness had been allowed to consume more of his soul.

Every day since he’d seen the sun and been plunged back into the dark.

Like a canary, choking and suffocating on poison while the miners escape back to the light.

No longer able to sing.

* * *

And one day, two days after the anniversary, Tony emerged. 

There was no warning for anyone, not even him.

One day, he just got up and decided that he should go for a walk. It was a warm day, towards the end of the summer. He woke up early in the morning, feeling more refreshed than he had since he could remember. The sun was just beginning to shine over the buildings in the city, illuminating the skyline.

And Tony thought to himself, how about a jog?

And so he went.

He wasn’t sure how long it’d been since he’d left the tower, but it must have been a while. The air was crisp and fresh, still cool from the night, though it was warming up fast. Tony forewent a jacket, opting for a loose t-shirt, allowing the air to caress his skin. He couldn’t quite bring himself to smile, but he wanted to. 

He wasn’t sure how long he jogged for. He didn’t have a watch, only his phone, though he refused to use it. He was disconnected for the first time in a year. He was going out into the world he’d saved, at the expense of his own, and goddamn it, he’d enjoy it if it killed him.

He was uncertain about his route at first, unfamiliar with the city after being absent from it for so long, but his feet were sure beneath him, and soon enough, they’d carried him to the door of the small coffee shop he’d frequented before he’d become a total recluse.

He stopped, leaning against the quaint, ornate little bench that had sat outside the window the entire time he’d known the shop to be there - and which, with all of its decoration and designs, couldn’t have been comfortable to sit on in the least - and took a while to catch his breath. 

He’d kept up his physical condition while he’d been in seclusion, though it wasn’t even vanity, but more the fact that, regardless of what anyone might think, it took quite a bit of muscle to power the suit. Moving in it alone could be difficult, and maneuvering when you were traveling at 300mph would be impossible if he didn’t keep up his muscle tone. But even with all of that, it’d been a long time since he’d exerted himself for such a long time without a break - and he hadn’t stopped once on the way here. He still didn’t check his phone, but the sidewalks were starting to get busy. It had been at least a couple of hours.

Once he felt that he’d sufficiently caught his breath, he entered the shop, still breathing a bit hard, and sighing in relief as the cool air hit his over-heated skin. It had warmed quite a bit as the sun got higher. He stood in line behind a few people, looking around and taking things in as he hadn’t ever done before. He’d always been about speed and efficiency (unless it came to doing, you know, his duties as CEO, in which case he would stall and put it off as long as he possibly could) and he’d never really taken the time to stop and smell the roses, as it were.

The shop wasn’t extremely full, though there were a few people there. There were two people in front of him, both carrying briefcases, and he was certain they were sleeping together, though it seemed like they were trying to hide it. The woman in the corner with the knee-length skirt, frazzled expression, and bag of art-supplies worked with young kids, though he couldn’t tell if she was a teacher or a daycare supervisor or what. The little droopy-eyed kid in the corner with the woman in her late twenties was a trust fund baby out with his nanny, though he wanted nothing more than to just go back to sleep.

Everyone had a story if you looked for it, though he generally opted to ignore them. His brain moved at a thousand miles an hour, taking in information and processing it and offering any number of solutions and explanations before anyone else had even processed the problem. It was easier to ignore those around him and, therefore, leave his mind free from clutter.

There was a tap at his shoulder and he turned to see a bald man with a long white beard and olive skin. Tony gave him a friendly, if slightly confused look. The man gazed back at him with awed eyes and spoke in English that was impeccable, though thickly accented. “Pardon me, sir, but are you Tony Stark?”

Tony nodded. “The one and only.”

The man pulled him into a hug. “You, sir. You are a hero. You saved my boy from those monsters.”

Tony wrapped his arms around the man hesitantly, unsure what else he could do. The man squeezed him back tightly. “I was just doing my job,” he assured the man, trying to extricate himself from the embrace without being offensive.

The man released him quickly, though he still looked at him with awe, and he shook his head. “No, sir, you are a hero.”

Tony gazed at him, somehow managing to keep the smile on his face, though he felt like doing anything but smiling. He could argue with the other Avengers about his status as a “hero” - with all the death he’d caused, he really didn’t think he could qualify - but he preferred to keep that talk away from civilians.

Still, this man was on the verge of tears, thanking him for saving his son, and Tony couldn’t help but wonder what he’d think if he found out that, ever since the day Loki had gone back to Asgard, he’d wanted nothing more than to find the trickster and pull him close, bury his face in that dark hair and inhale the scent of him, memorize it and keep it with him always.

He’d been able to smell Loki in the penthouse for weeks after the encounter up there that had ended in his defenestration. Sometimes, he still imagined that he could smell it there, though he knew it’d been pretty much gone for almost a year.

Tony left the coffee shop ten minutes later, mood slightly dampened by the encounter, and decided to go back to the tower and clean up before he made any other decisions. He’d caught sight of his reflection in the window and had barely recognized himself. His beard was grown out quite a bit and there were dark bags under his eyes. He needed to fix himself up, feel more like himself, resume his role in the world as the unfazable Tony Stark, before he actually did anything.

He payed for a cab back to the tower and once there, he made a beeline for his bathroom (as much of a beeline could be made, what with there being an elevator required to make the journey) and he soon recovered something of an image of himself, using scissors, an electric razor, and a straight one to get the well defined lines required of his beard.

He splashed his face with water and looked at himself in the mirror. There he was. He looked like the same old Tony, renowned playboy and certified genius.

He knew he wasn’t the same old Tony, but he looked the part.

He could work with that.

He left the bathroom to greet Pepper when he heard heard her enter, bustling around and tutting her tongue like she always did as she straightened things up for him and muttered about how Tony wouldn’t be able to survive without her.

“I resent that,” Tony chuckled, leaning against the doorframe. 

Pepper looked up in surprise. “Tony!” she exclaimed, nearly dropped the newspaper clutched in her hand. “You’re-”

“Dashingly handsome?” He gave her his signature grin. He knew it would never work on her, and never had. It was more for his benefit, really. It felt familiar, if a bit unpracticed, on his lips, but it was normal, and maybe that was something he needed.

“Actually, I was going to say ‘out of your lab,’” she said, raising a pointed eyebrow.

He feigned offense. “That hurts, Pepper, truly!”

She chuckled. “But it’s true.”

He grinned back at her, about to reply and continue their easy banter (which he found that he’d missed more than he’d realized) when he caught sight of one of the photographs on the side of the newspaper in her hand, a picture of a familiar horned figure. He pulled the paper from her hands and looked at it, reading over the headline.

“REMEMBERING THE DAY THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING” it read, and Tony wanted to cringe at the feral look in Loki’s eyes. He recognized the picture, everyone did. It was the most famous photograph of him. Someone had managed to capture it during the battle and it’d been printed everywhere since. It’d haunted Tony everywhere he’d looked, reminding him of what he’d potentially lost, and telling him exactly how fucked up it was that he wanted it at all.

* * *

Far away, in another realm, the alarms were raised.

The trickster had escaped.

* * *

Loki had felt the bonds around him weakening for months. He’d trained Jonas, a long time ago now, and he knew by the feel of it exactly which spell was being used. It was a good one, a strong one, though it was only as powerful as the sorcerer behind it. Even he would have to break it off eventually, though he would have been able to last much longer than a year, if he’d wished to.

As it were, he wouldn’t have to wait much longer before Jonas’s strength would deplete entirely, and he would either die or be forced to take a while (a long while) to recuperate before he’d be able to perform something more taxing than lifting a pebble or creating a small flame. 

He could feel it immediately when the spell was broken. It didn’t feel like the spell had been ended by death, though with how abrupt it had been, he was fairly certain that Jonas was unconscious, meaning that this was his chance. There were no guards posted at his door, Thor’s idea as Loki was too weak to fight, anyway, and it would be some time before anyone checked in on the sorcerer and discovered the lapse.

Now was his opportunity, possibly the only one he would ever get.

He stood, snapping his fingers to releasing the shackles and reveling in the feeling of the magic flowing through him again. It was like blood had returned to his veins, bringing life and warmth to his cold and dead limbs, bringing them back to life. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes in pleasure, letting himself feel it for a moment.

But that was all the time he could spare. He snapped once to open the door, slipping out into the hall and masking himself with magic as he made his way out of the prison building and to freedom.

It brought back memories of a time when he used the same magic, the same spell, to make his way to the only person who’d ever been his, and his alone.

He had one secret passage that he was certain wasn’t being watched. With the Bifröst gone, and without Thor or Odin to summon him down to Midgard, this final passage was his only hope of escape, and maybe, if he was lucky, getting to the one whose heart called to him.

* * *

Bruce was just as shocked as Pepper to find Tony in such a state. Pepper checked in daily, while Bruce checked in once a week, and when he arrived the next day to say hello, he was greeted immediately by the sight of Tony eating cereal in a pair of pajama pants and a tattered AC/DC shirt and looking to all the world like nothing at all had ever happened.

Tony swallowed his mouth full of Lucky Charms and grinned broadly at him. “Bruce, hey buddy, I was wondering when you’d show up! Cereal?” He set his bowl aside and held the box out for the other man.

Bruce approached him cautiously. “Tony, you’re-”

“Yes, I’m out of the lab and properly groomed and showered and actually sober for once.” Tony rolled his eyes as he ran through the mental checklist of things that were apparently amazing about his current state. “It’s nothing to be shocked about...”

“Tony, it’s been a year,” Bruce said, coming over to take a seat at the counter refusing to take his eyes off of him. “Hell, you haven’t even left this place in six months!”

“I’m aware, and I actually went for a run yesterday,” Tony replied tightly. “What’s your point?”

“My point is that you had us worried, all of us. What happened?” He reached for the bowl of blueberries sitting on the counter (which Tony had actually left out for Bruce, knowing he’d never refuse them) and watched him intently.

Tony just shrugged. “I dunno. I needed to reset, I guess. A lot of things happened all at once, I needed to cope.”

“You could have asked for help,” Bruce pointed out. “We’re you’re team, I’m your friend.”

Tony shrugged again. “I’m not sure anyone really could have helped me.” Anyone besides Loki, he thought with a guilty twinge. “I just needed time.” Bruce looked at him dubiously. “Hey, I’m sorry I scared you. But I’m better now, alright?”

Bruce still looked skeptical, but he finally nodded, dropping the issue, and seeming just to be happy overall that he had his friend back.

Tony hated lying to his best friend, he hated seeing Bruce trust every word that passed through his lips while he either lied or pretended. There wasn’t a single entirely honest moment during the entire encounter, and when Bruce finally left, saying he had to meet with Dr. Selvig about some research they’d been doing, Tony felt more than a little relived relief, but even more, he just felt guilty. 

He sat for a while, contemplating his options, and finally groaned and said, “Jarvis!”

The AI answered almost immediately. _“Yes, sir?”_

“Schedule a press conference for this afternoon. Four o’clock.”

_“Right away, sir. May I ask to what this pertains?”_

Tony smirked to himself. “You’ll see.”

* * *

Loki had a plan.

Better yet, he had a plan that involved Tony. 

He’d arrived on Midgard two days before and done his best to mask himself and his magic, though he was a bit out of practice, hiding from SHIELD and Heimdall. After so long in the cell, using his magic was like stretching a muscle that hadn’t been used in a long while. It hurt, but it felt good. The sting reminded him that he was doing something familiar, something extraordinary, something all his own. 

He’d compelled a man to give him a flat free of charge and that’s where he was now, working out exactly what he planned to do. He’d kidnap Tony Stark, that killed two birds with one stone. It got Tony close to him, and it gave him a measure of protection and insurance. A bargaining chip, as it were. One that he could use to gain a pardon, or something like that.

He’d figure out those bits as he went, he supposed.

He just had to figure out when. It seemed that Stark had been quite the recluse since he’d been taken back to Asgard, and he hadn’t even been seen in six months. He operated Stark Industries remotely, and any announcements were made by his assistant, the redhead with the fitting name. But Loki wanted something public, something to be seen by all the world. He needed a show and public outcry to get what he wanted.

Loki had gleaned all of the information about Stark by one internet search on a laptop he’d compelled someone to let him use, and some surprisingly useful smalltalk he’d engaged in with an older man with an accent at a coffee shop near his flat.

And he was sitting at that coffee shop, trying to figure out exactly when to carry out his plan, enjoying a surprisingly scrumptious beverage called a _latte_ when the television in the corner handed him the perfect opportunity. 

“Tony Stark calls surprise press conference,” the caption read at the bottom of the screen. The camera was focused on a podium and he could see the familiar redhead sitting in a chair nearby, though Tony had yet to make an appearance. As he watched, the reporters who were visible in the front row looked up attentively and Tony Stark made his appearance, waltzing up to the podium like he didn’t have a care in the world, wearing a jacket that hugged him just right, over a t-shirt, and the way he moved in it told Loki that Stark knew he looked good, too.

Loki almost wished the cafe turned the volume on on their televisions, but he decided that it didn’t really matter. He would finish his latte, and then it was time for his plan to be put into motion.

This was his time to shine.

* * *

Tony fell into his familiar role as he approached the podium. He knew what the press wanted whenever he came into the picture. They wanted him to be dashing and funny and a little bit salacious. Any and all serious matters should come between that.

He made his way up to the podium and winked to a dark-haired woman sitting in the front row, who immediately blushed, and he gave her a grin, even if he didn’t really mean anything by the gestures. He was playing his role, nothing more. 

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today,” he said, turning to address the crowd and feeling just a bit like Fury as he said that. “I think we all know that I’ve been a bit MIA for a while.” A few snickers and a general murmur of agreement ran through the crowd. “Well, I’m finally here to tell you why I’ve been gone so long. Stark Industries-”

He was interrupted by many gasps and a few screams from the crowd as Loki appeared behind Tony, clamped a hand over his mouth to silence him, gave the crowd an evil grin (and a photo op) and disappeared again, taking Tony with him.

The next moments at the press conference were chaos as everyone panicked and called the police and tried to figure out what they were supposed to do and was that Loki it had to be Loki, right?

Pepper sat up on the stage in silence, eyes wide, as she pressed twice the emergency button hidden beneath one of the jewels in her bracelet - it had been a gift from Tony. It would immediately call Tony if she was in trouble if she pressed it once, and notify the Avengers if she pressed it twice.

One of the Avengers’ own had been abducted.

It was time to assemble.

* * *

Tony and Loki appeared in Loki’s flat, and as soon as Loki released his hold on Tony, the man’s legs gave way beneath him and he fainted.

Loki rolled his eyes. Tony wasn’t the first to have such a reaction from Loki’s preferred method of transport, though he’d thought the man would stand up better, being used to his own wild method of transportation.

Either way, he picked up Tony easily and laid him out of the couch, quickly set a ward around the flat that would prevent any tracking signals from getting in or out, snapped his fingers to remove the man’s blazer, which looked to be twisting uncomfortably around his arms, and covered Tony with an afghan, content to sit and wait for the man to regain his consciousness. 

It didn’t actually take that long. Tony awoke about half an hour later, and his eyes immediately latched onto Loki. The god was in the chair opposite, sprawled in it sideways with one arm under his back and the other under his legs. His fingers were laced over his stomach in waiting and his head was thrown back. The way it bared his neck was almost pornographic. 

Tony’s first reaction was to smile and close his eyes again. “Let’s not try that teleportation thing again, kay?” he mumbled.

Loki’s eyebrows pulled together. Did Tony actually not realize where he was or what had happened?

His question was answered when Tony’s eyes burst open again and a second later, he was scrambling over the sofa - the afghan snarling around his legs and dumping him on the floor with a comically large thump - and stumbling away, looking around wildly. “Loki! What happened? Where am I? What did you do?”

Loki let out a chuckle, maintaining his position.

Though, the way Tony was staring at him was more afraid than anything else and Loki had to remind himself that the man probably didn’t know.

Perhaps Stark wasn’t entirely aware of the situation? Though, it was clear from his initial reaction when he’d regained consciousness that he didn’t really have a problem being around Loki.

Loki didn’t look at him. “I brought you here,” he said simply.

“And where is here?” Tony’s eyes darted to the door, though he was certain that it’d be locked, and even if it wasn’t, there was no chance of getting to it before Loki stopped him.

“My home.” He paused. “My home on Midgard, at least.”

Tony looked around, studying the place a bit better. It was spartan, bare, but obviously lived in, as evidenced by a few things around the place. There was a small figurine of a wolf on the bookshelf, next to three large, leather-bound volumes with runes he didn’t recognized pressed into the spines, and what seemed to be a novel guarded by the wolf, though Tony couldn’t tell what the book was. There was a pad of paper and a pencil by the kitchen sink, and a table with two chairs, one pushed in and one pulled out slightly. The sofa he’d been laying on a few moments before was dark green, just the color of Loki’s eyes, and the blanket that had been covering him was a deep blue, probably handmade. He didn’t mean that it looked bad, just that it had a certain personal quality to it, something no machine could fake.

Tony glanced to the door again, wondering if it was worth it to even try, and sighed. “Okay, so tell me why I’m here. Why did you take me?”

“I’m here to rescue you,” he said cryptically, then let out a bitter laugh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Loki lifted his head and fixed Tony with a gaze that made his breath catch in his throat and he felt his heart rate speed up a bit. He forced himself to swallow.

Loki smirked, a smirk that made Tony feel the need to douse his entire body with ice water just to keep control of himself. He rose to his feet and began prowling towards Tony with catlike steps. “Tell me, Stark, what kinds of dreams have you been having since our last encounter? I’m assuming I made an appearance...”

Tony did his best to give a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe you did. But hey, I’ve dreamed of the teletubbies, too, and they never kidnapped me. Or at least, they haven’t yet.”

“I hear you’ve been quite elusive for the past year,” Loki went on. He took a step toward Tony, and this time, Tony stood his ground. “You’ve barely been seen. Is there a reason you went into hiding, Stark?” He took another step towards him, and again, Tony kept his footing.

“H-hiding? What do you mean?” Tony was doing his best to maintain his composure, but he wasn’t sure how without Loki coming closer. All he could think about was that desire to hug him and bury his face in his shoulder and breath him in and that definitely wasn’t something to be focusing on when the guy who was _supposed_ to be his enemy was coming closer to him and looking like he was about to claim him for his own.

“You’re drawn to me, Stark,” Loki said, taking a final step to tower above Tony, though he didn’t touch him. There was about six inches between them, and neither dared to breach the distance. Not yet. Because they could both sense what it would mean. It would mean no turning back, and while Loki was ready to take that step, had been ready for so long to find Tony again and hold him in his arms and hold him close and feel safe and warm and loved - this was a new Tony, and he had to remember that this Tony didn’t know about all the lives they’d spent together. Loki would have to go at his pace, if Tony decided to set one.

It was all up to him now.

Tony stared up at Loki, gazes locking. They stayed there for a long moment. It could have been three hours or three seconds, but Tony was the one who finally broke the stillness and reached up to place his hand at the back of Loki’s neck, feeling the cool skin there and tangling his fingers in Loki’s long, silky hair, and pulled the god down to meet his lips.

Loki seemed surprised at first, but he quickly recovered and wrapped one arm around Tony’s waist, while the other hand came up to caress his face, holding him there. The hand was gentle, but there was a certain desperation to the gesture. The kiss started out soft and chaste, but Tony pulled Loki closer and slid his tongue against Loki’s lower lip, hesitantly requesting entry. 

Loki eagerly gave it to him, kissing him deeper as he and Tony moved (somewhat awkwardly with their faces attached to each other) to the couch. They both stumbled as Tony fell down onto the couch, and they laughed until Tony pulled Loki down on top of him, kissing him again and pulling him flush against him, loving the feeling of Loki against him, on top of him.

They finally broke apart, both breathing hard. “I told you you were drawn to me,” Loki said, grinning wickedly and kissing him again, though this one was small, quick, and almost seemed like Loki was doing it to reassure himself.

And Tony, asshole that he was, couldn’t just let that go. He laughed, hands moving to cup Loki’s ass. “You know my reputation. I’m drawn to anything with a nice pair of legs.”

Loki growled possessively, arms tightening around him and Tony decided that he might actually be okay with Loki being possessive, as long as he gets to hear Loki make _that_ sound again, because, if nothing else, that growl was making Tony’s cock twitch with definite interest.

“Aw, come on, babe, don’t be like that!” Tony said, deciding he only wanted to encourage Loki at this point.

Loki raised a single eyebrow and caught him in a hot, bruising kiss as his hips began to work up a rhythm against his. Tony moaned into the kiss, pressing up into the contact. 

It was Loki who finally pulled out of the kiss to press his forehead against Tony’s and meet his gaze seriously. Tony tried to follow Loki’s lips with his own, but Loki pulled back. “Before we go any further-” he began.

“I want it,” Tony said, cutting him off. “I want _you_.” God, it felt so good to finally admit that out loud. Having Loki there pressed against him just felt so good and right, like everything he’d been missing was suddenly found. “I want this.” He trailed his hand up Loki’s side, idly, innocently exploring. “I want _all_ of this.”

Loki grinned and kissed him again, eager and relieved and begging for so, so much.

And Tony was perfectly willing to give it all. Loki’s lips were on his again and his hands were fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt and the only thing Tony regretted about the decision was that they had to pull apart for Loki to first pull off his own shirt, then Tony’s.

Loki paused staring for a moment at the arc reactor. He was fascinated by it and he reached out a hand, but he drew it back. He wanted to know about it, but he could wait. 

There were more pressing needs to be addressed.

Loki’s skin was cool when he brought their bodies back together and it made Tony gasp at the sharp difference in temperature. He was sure that it wouldn’t actually be that noticeable under regular circumstances, but with Tony’s skin overheated and sensitive as it was, every little thing was catching his attention, and the coolness of Loki’s skin was a _big_ thing to notice.

“You’re cold,” he murmured against Loki’s lips. “That a god thing?”

Loki didn’t reply, but his hands moving down Tony’s sides faltered, telling Tony that something was up. He pulled back to get a look at Loki’s face. “What’s wrong?”

Loki stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. “Some other time. It’s nothing to be worried about.” He placed his hand on Tony’s chest, just below the arc reactor, and slid his hand down Tony’s front, feeling the goosebumps rise in the wake of his hand and feeling Tony shiver against him. Loki grinned. “I suggest you enjoy it.” He kissed Tony, then moved lower, kissing and sucking down his neck, his collarbone, stopping to lick and suck at one of Tony’s nipples on his way down. Tony gasped, arching up into Loki, and he gasped again when Loki pulled at the button and zipper on his pants, relieving some of the straining pressure on his cock. 

Loki moaned, sliding lower and pulling Tony’s pants down, then his boxers, to completely reveal Tony’s cock, hard and erect. Loki quickly kissed the rest of the way down Tony’s body, pressing his lips for a long moment to Tony’s pelvis, just a few inches above his cock. Tony moaned, pressing up into him, desperate for something, _anything_. 

Loki didn’t make him wait much longer, though he didn’t necessarily give Tony everything at once, either. He took him slowly, wrapping his mouth around the head of Tony’s cock only, running his tongue across it and reveling in the gasps coming from Tony, though he was obviously muffling them as best he could.

No, that wasn’t right. Loki wanted to hear him, wanted to hear how well he was pleasing him.

He’d been planning to take him in much slower, but Loki took in as much as he could in one quick motion, relaxing his throat and swallowing around Tony. 

Tony’s reaction was immediate. He stopped biting back his whines and gasps and released them easily, moaning like a whore under Loki’s practiced touch.

Tony’s hands slid into Loki’s hair, fisting and pulling slightly, enough to make Loki gasp and moan around him, which only made Tony gasp louder and pull harder.

His tugs changed, though, and he said, “Loki, wait. I want something else.” 

Loki pulled off of him immediately and he slid up to face him. “Anything,” he purred, kissing Tony’s exposed neck and scrambling the man’s thoughts.

It took Tony a moment to recall what he was about to say. When he finally found the words again, it came out as a gasp. “I want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me.”

The god’s breath hitched. He locked gazes with Tony  as their movements stilled, and everything was just them and the space between. Then Loki pulled back and the weight on top of Tony was gone. He whined on reflex, though when he looked up at Loki, the sound caught in his throat. The god was removing his pants to reveal his own cock, hard and waiting for Tony to surround him. The whine was replaced by a groan.

Hurriedly, he shucked off his own pants - all the way this time - and reached for Loki’s hand, pulling him back on top of him. They kissed for a long moment, Loki’s hands moving to rest on Tony’s hips, thumbs rubbing soft little circles at the hip bone there. Tony’s arms wound around Loki’s neck, refusing to let him pull further away.

When they ended the kiss, they were both breathing quickly. Neither made any move until, slowly, Tony spread his legs around Loki, allowing the god to settle in there, breath hitching when his movement caused the barest amount of pressure and friction on his cock.

Loki’s eyes were dark, blown wide with lust, as he brought his hand up and pushed his fingers into Tony’s mouth. Tony sucked on Loki’s fingers greedily and moaned when he felt Loki’s hand placed on his cock, stroking slowly, teasingly.

Then the fingers were gone and Loki’s mouth took their place, kissing him deeply and almost making Tony forget about those fingers until _oh_ , there they were. Loki was pressing one to his entrance, circling slowly, just long enough to get Tony’s attention. Loki pulled out of this kiss right as his finger pushed in, followed quickly by a second. Tony gasped and moaned, but Loki was continuing, spreading him quickly. He scissored his fingers and pressed them in deep, thrusting his wicked digits in time with his other hand on Tony’s cock. 

Tony was writhing beneath him, biting back a whole manner of loud noises and Loki was adding a third finger and spreading him wider and going deeper and Tony was about ready to die right there on the spot.

“Do it,” he moaned. “Please, I need it.” Tony Stark didn’t beg for sex, he didn’t, but between Loki’s lips and tongue working their black magic at his throat and the fingers around and inside him, he would come soon if he didn’t have some kind of anchor. 

Loki pulled the fingers out and removed his hand from around him. Tony wasn’t sure where he’d gotten the lube and didn’t exactly care because Loki was slicking his cock with it and that was all he really cared about at the moment.

The god pulled the man’s legs up higher and lined himself up, the head of his cock pressing lightly against Tony’s entrance. He locked gazes with Tony and the man gave him the slightest of nods, imperceptible if you weren’t inches away - which Loki was - and then Loki’s lips were on his with a hot kiss, and he thrust in quickly, all at once. Tony moaned loudly at the sudden feeling of being so wonderfully full and Loki sucked in a shallow breath, pulling his lips from Tony’s to bite his lower lip.

“You’re so tight,” he murmured, eyes closed.

“Been a while since I’ve been with a guy,” Tony said. He knew Loki wouldn’t want to hear about him with anyone else, but he also knew it’d get the same kind of reaction out of Loki as before.

And he was right. Loki’s eyes opened to lock with his and he let out a low growl, the same one Tony’d heard earlier. It sent a spasm of pleasure through him. He clenched around Loki, making the god gasp. Loki got the message, though. He pulled out, slowly, letting Tony feel each subtle movement, and then thrust back in. Tony bit his lip to rein in his cries of pleasure and Loki repeated the motion again and again.

“Don’t hold back,” he said, voice low and needing. “Let me hear you, Tony.”

Tony did need any more prompting. He moaned and gasped with Loki as the god built up a rhythm, going hard and deep with each thrust. Tony was keening with pleasure and then Loki wrapped his hand around his cock again, stroking him in time with his thrusts.

Tony was quickly coming undone under Loki’s skilled hand, and the god seemed to know exactly how to please him. Where to touch, how hard and how fast Tony liked it, what buttons to push to make Tony scream. His breathing was ragged and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. “Loki, I’m gonna...gonna...”

“Come for me,” Loki said, growling it low in Tony’s ear and doing this little twisty thing to his cock with his wrist that had Tony coming without any more warning, Loki’s name on his lips. Loki thrust in once, twice more, then his hips stuttered as he came, too, spilling deep inside Tony and crying out the his name, as the man had done for him.

They stayed there for a moment, breathing hard, Tony’s come cooling between them, arms wrapped around each other, and just enjoying the feeling of being close. Loki pulled out carefully and settled in with Tony and pressing soft, reverent kisses to his throat. His hands were roaming, though they weren’t demanding anything, had no hint of sexual desire in them. Loki just wanted to feel Tony, wanted to touch him everywhere and assure himself that Tony was actually _there_. 

Eventually, his hand brushed the arc reactor and Tony tensed beneath him, eyes widening as he looked down at the fingers that had brushed over the device. 

Loki noticed the reaction immediately, though he didn’t pull his hand away. He cocked his head to the side. “What is it?”

Tony averted his eyes and reached up to pull Loki’s hand away, sliding it down an inch so that it was no longer touching the metal. “How about we not touch that, eh?” He tried to smile and lighten the mood, but it fell flat.

“What is it?” Loki asked again. Tony could see the genuine curiosity in Loki’s eyes as he asked, though he wasn’t sure exactly how much he could, or should, tell him.

Finally, Tony gave a small shrug. “It’s my heart.” Or close enough to it, he thought. Loki’s eyebrows pulled together and there was a question in his eyes, though he didn’t actually say anything. Tony sighed. “It’s a...long story.” Not really. Just difficult. He hoped that Loki would just drop it and tried to communicate that with his eyes.

Finally, Loki nodded and his hand moved down to rest on Tony’s hip. “How about a shower?” he offered, indicating the mess between them, which they’d both been doing their best to ignore, though it was getting difficult as it began to dry. “Because I’m pretty sure we both need it.”

Tony grinned and eagerly agreed, following Loki into the bathroom, where he was suddenly pressed against a wall. The lights hadn’t been turned on yet and, when Loki closed the door, it was pitch black. He couldn’t see Loki in front of him, he could only feel the god pressed against the whole length of him, feel the mouth moving against his in ways that should be _illegal._

Loki pulled away eventually and flicked on the lights, smirking when he saw that Tony was hard again. He walked to the shower and turned it on, holding his finger under the stream to feel the temperature. And either the water here heated up really fast or Loki used some of his trickster magic, but it was only about two seconds before he pulled his hand back and pulled Tony close. “After you.”

Tony was about to step into the shower when he looked back. “Wait, ‘after you?’ Am I the girl in this situation?!”

Loki chuckled and smirked and Tony simultaneously wanted to slap him and kiss him. “You didn’t seem to mind earlier, _darling_.”

Tony rolled his eyes but stepped into the hot spray, pulling Loki in with him, who shut the shower door after him. The shower in the flat wasn’t that big, but it wasn’t absolutely tiny, either, and with how close they were standing, neither of them really cared.

Loki hadn’t been in the shower for a second before Tony’s lips were on his and _he_ was the one being pressed up against the wall this time. Tony’s hands tangled into his long, wet hair, and Loki’s hands were touching him everywhere. Cupping his ass, running down his chest, sliding up his back, resting comfortably on his hips. They were everywhere _except_ on the arc reactor, Tony noticed with relief. He’d been surprised before when Loki had touched it, though he supposed he should have expected it. It was a bright circle of light in the center of his chest, the guy was bound to be curious about it.

And he would probably have to tell him eventually, if this thing was going to continue.

Wait, what? When had that been a thing that was decided? What were he and Loki doing, having a quick couple of fucks or what? For all Tony knew, it was a one time deal, then done. 

But it didn’t feel like that, not to Tony, and if he was being honest with himself (which he generally tried not to be, but whatever) then he couldn’t imagine going back. Because while the hole in his chest might remain, the hole in his heart was gone, or at least filled, when he was with Loki. It was like he could breathe properly for the first time since he could remember, and as he pressed close to Loki, mouths moving in sync, he decided that he definitely didn’t want to give this up any time soon.

He’d do what he had to to keep it.

Just then, all coherent thoughts were pushed from his mind as Loki flipped them around so that it was now Tony who was pressed to the wall, and then he sank to his knees and Tony’s eyes widened as Loki’s mouth was suddenly around him. He was sucking and bobbing his head and taking him in so deep and using that wicked tongue of his in all of the best ways. Tony’s hands, still tangled in his hair, pulled slightly, and Loki released a small moan around him. 

So he definitely liked hair pulling. Tony filed that information away for future use.

He tugged on Loki’s hair lightly again, watching him as he worked his mouth around Tony’s cock, taking it like it was the greatest thing he’d ever tasted. He had his hand around his own cock, jacking himself quickly and his other hand was on Tony’s hip to remind him to keep still.

Loki relaxed his throat around him, deep throating him like a fucking pro, and Tony didn’t last much longer after that. When he came, Loki swallowed every drop and pulled off with a pop and when Tony’s legs were threatening to give out after having received one of the best blowjobs of his _life_ , it was Loki’s arms that supported him, Loki’s lips that were pressed to his, Loki’s body that held him in place. Loki jerked himself off for a few more moments before he came with a shudder and a small moan, kissing Tony deeper. 

They stayed in the shower a while longer, all pretense of actually cleaning themselves gone as they kissed idly, lazily almost, exploring each other as the water streamed over their bodies. Tony’s hands were in Loki’s hair often, playing with the soft tendrils, and Loki seemed to like to hold Tony by the waist and hips, keeping him close.

They got out when Tony started making fun of Loki for having pruny fingers in the water (“You’re a god, and you can’t even stop that?” “Be quiet Stark!” “Make me.” And then Loki made him be quiet by otherwise occupying his mouth.) and when they checked the clock, it read 9 pm. Still early for Tony, but between the sex and the being kidnapped (in that order of importance), Tony was yawning, realizing just how exhausted he really was. Loki, of course, noticed and led Tony to the bedroom with a smile that couldn’t quite be described as a smirk, but describing his expression as anything else just seemed wrong.

It was almost...content? That was the closest Tony could come with his mind addled by exhaustion and the memories of the day and Loki pushing him down on the bed, still naked from the shower and hair still damp, though neither of them really seemed to care as Loki pressed in close and wrapped his long arms around Tony’s waist and kissed him softly, chastely.  Loki pressed his forehead to Tony’s and closed his eyes, and Tony did the same, until he realized just why this stuck out to him.

“Oh my god, are we snuggling?” he said suddenly, opening his eyes.

Loki cracked an eye open. “Sleeping, Stark. We’re sleeping. Perhaps you could try it.” Tony tried to offer him some witty retort when Loki’s mouth on his shut him up. “Sleep, Tony,” he murmured against his lips. 

Tony let out a feigned sigh of exasperation, though he was smiling (and he was pretty sure Loki was able to see it). He wrapped his own arms around Loki and laid his head down on the pillow, closing his eyes and letting the slow rhythm of Loki’s breathing lull him to sleep.

Tony dreamed in flashes and segments, memories of a life that simultaneously belonged to him and belonged to a stranger. A life begun in the shining land of Asgard, warm and beckoning, and ended in the dark wild, cold and alone.

He remembered the first time he ever saw Loki, though he wasn’t Tony then. He was Antonus, and his father was a businessman and associate of Odin, the king, and he’d deigned to bring him along one time. “You’re almost a man, it’s time I trusted you to act like one,” his father had said as means of a warning. He’d then gone on to give specific instructions. Don’t speak unless spoken to (and he was assured that he wouldn’t be), don’t make eye contact with Odin (and more specifically, don’t stare at the eye _or_ the eyepatch), and try to be respectful of the royal family. He was told that meant bowing his head upon encountering them, being quick to an apology, and referring to them as “Your Highness” or (in the case of Odin) “Allfather.” His father ran through all of that with him repeatedly, and Antonus memorized it all easily, eager to see the interior of the court for himself. He’d never been allowed entry, his father having deemed him too young, too immature, but this was his chance to prove himself. 

On the appointed day, Antonus followed his father to the court, keeping his head bowed as he followed him into the chamber, though he tried to take in as much as he could out of the corners of his eyes. He was more excited to see the royal family and their residence than to actually attend the meeting.

Everything was golden and beautiful. It was a vast chamber with a large marble floor stretching out beneath it, so smooth that Antonus could see his own reflection as he walked across it. The walls were made of a blonde stone that he couldn’t quite identify, though there were designs carved into it, with bright, warm gold laid into the designs to make them shine and stand out against the duller backdrop.

And there, at the focal point of the chamber, sitting on a throne that was undoubtedly the magnum opus of the decorated hall, was Odin, adorned in furs and robes of the highest quality, an ornate helm of gold on his head, giving the impression of an eagle in flight, tracking its prey, as he fixed them with his stony one-eyed gaze. There was a single midnight raven perched on his shoulder, and as Antonus watched, a second flew to perch with the first, seeming to murmur into the Allfather’s ear.

Odin sat on the throne with his head held high, right hand pressed flat against the arm of the seat, while the left was wrapped easily around the shaft of an ornamented spear, which Antonus easily recognized as Gungnir, even if he’d never set eyes on it before. Everyone knew of the great spear of Odin, so powerful than an oath made over it could never be broken. More powerful, even, than Mjolnir, which many whispered would soon be passed to Thor, as the elder of the two princes of Asgard. At the feet of the Allfather, two shaggy grey wolves were laying down. One appeared to be sleeping, though Antonus wouldn’t want to test that theory, especially as the other was keeping close watch on the proceedings and seemed tensed, ready to leap and attack at a moment’s notice.

Antonus’s gaze shifted as he noticed the other figures sitting with the Allfather. The woman in the seat directly to the right of him was easily identifiable as the queen, Frigga. Antonus studied her for a moment. She was beautiful, with kind eyes and long hair pulled back easily to show her soft, warm features. Directly to the right of her was the eldest price, Thor. He was large, with broad shoulders and large muscles. He was watching the proceedings in a way that suggested he understood their importance and simply yearned for them to be a bit more interesting.

And directly to the right of Thor was the one who took Antonus’s breath away. He stood out, contrasting starkly with the softer faces and warmer tones of his family. No, he was a creature of beauty and extremes, with high cheekbones, pale skin offset sharply by black hair which was slicked back from his face and looked to reach all the way to the nape of his long neck. Even from the distance, Tony could see the intelligence in his bright green eyes. He took in a sharp breath when his eyes fell on the youngest prince, Loki. In front of him, his father flexed his hand behind his back and clenched it quickly into a fist, a signal for him to be control himself and behave. 

The silence stretched on interminably, punctuated only by the sound of their footsteps and one of the ravens releasing a short cry which echoed through the chamber. 

Odin was the one who finally broke the reticence, standing and holding out his arms in welcome. “Greetings, old friend,” he said with a broad grin.

“And to you, Allfather,” Antonus’s father replied, sweeping easily into a low bow. Antonus bowed his head and bent slightly at the waist, though he’d been told that it wasn’t as important for him to follow such customs, and not to such extremes. Odin came forward, offering his hand, and his father took it and quickly kissed the large stone of Odin’s ring. Antonus stayed where he was. His father had assured him that he was simply to stand there and look respectful, as he wasn’t yet a man, and therefore too young to be considered before the Allfather.

Antonus wound up tuning out most of what was discussed by the two men. He’d never been all that interested in the business side of what his father did, the negotiations that went along with them. He found his eyes returning to the younger prince, Loki, who, from the look of him, was just as bored as he was. He studied Loki, unsure if he’d ever get another chance. He was sitting (or more like sprawling) on the chair, seated at an angle to the actual chair and leaning more on the arm of the thing than the chair’s actual back. One arm was stretched across the top of the chair back while the other was supporting his head. Antonus found himself studying the sharp lines of Loki’s body - his long legs, his thin frame and tall, almost elongated stature. He found himself comparing him to his brother, Thor, and marveling at how dissimilar the two looked. 

Loki’s eyes flicked to his and Antonus quickly looked away, his father’s words running through his mind. “Don’t make eye contact with them, Antonus, they’re above you.”

He stared at the ground for a long moment, and finally decided to look back up at Loki, only to find the prince’s eyes still trained on him. His brows were pulled together and he seemed to be scrutinizing him, trying to figure out something important, though Antonus didn’t have any clue what that could be.

When Loki realized that Antonus was looking at him, Antonus saw the side of his mouth pull up into the slightest of smiles, and the prince bowed his head slightly - bowed his head to Antonus, an Aesir without a drop of royal blood in his veins! Antonus stared back and, finally, gave Loki a smile to match, barely there, only perceptible if one was watching for it, and nodded to him, though he did his best to keep the Allfather from noticing the motion, so he couldn’t be certain if Loki saw it.

The meeting between his father and Odin didn’t last all that long, but for Antonus, it could have gone on for hours without him realizing. He and Loki hadn’t taken eyes off each other since the inception of the meeting, both just watching each other, studying each other. When Antonus and his father turned to leave, Loki bowed his head again and Antonus did the same, trying his best to make it look like a natural movement.

As they were leaving, Loki had leaned over to Thor and murmured that he wasn’t feeling well and that he thought he’d retire. Thor voiced some concern, but Loki had waved him off and assured him that he just needed some air.

No one else even noticed the younger prince leave the chamber.

Antonus followed his father down the hall, but he halted them suddenly. “Wait here, Antonus,” he instructed. “I shall return shortly.”

Antonus sighed, not even bothering to say goodbye as his father left him there. He was content to wait in silent boredom, mind thoroughly occupied with thoughts of Loki, when a smooth voice behind him said, “So, who are you, and why have I not seen you here before?”

Antonus turned, eyes widening when he saw the younger prince leaning against the wall nearby, and bowed his head quickly, saying, “Loki! I mean, Your Highness! I’m, um, Antonus. Antonus Howardson.”

He glanced up to see a smirk on Loki’s face, a beautiful smirk full of mischief and glee and wow, the guy was beautiful. He heard Loki chuckle, too, and then he said, “A bit flustered, are we?”

Antonus panicked and did what he always did when he panicked. He started babbling. “Sorry, sorry! It’s just that you’re the prince and-”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Loki said, cutting him off. He looked around conspiratorially and leaned in closer, whispering, “I’m not the prince.”

Tony looked up sharply, then quickly bowed his head again. “I don’t know what you mean,” he admitted.

“I mean,” two fingers were placed beneath his chin, pulling his face up to face Loki, “that I’m not the prince, I’m just someone who is _very_ interested in who you are and why I haven’t seen you here before.”

He knew that, by courtesy to the royal family, he should assure Loki that he wasn’t special, or interesting, or anything like that.

Instead, he leaned against the wall, too, crossed his arms, and put forth the cocky persona he was somewhat known for in certain circles. “Interested in me, are you? Well, you should be.”

Loki seemed slightly surprised at first, then his features formed back into the same smirk. “I should? And why is that?”

Antonus shrugged. “Maybe you’ll find out.”

“What did you say your name was again?” 

Antonus wondered for half a second if Loki was going to have him punished for being so candid with him, but he figured there wasn’t really any way of getting around it, so he decided to answer it, rather than deflect. “Antonus,” he repeated.

“It’s a bit of a mouthful, isn’t it?” Loki cocked his head again. “How about...Tony? Sounds better, I think.”

Antonus grinned. “Works for me, I guess.” He heard footsteps coming down the hall and instantly knew they’d be his father coming back for him. He bowed his head slightly to Loki. “Not that I wasn’t enjoying myself, but I’m pretty sure we’re about to leave.”

“Will I see you around here again anytime soon?” Did Loki sound...hopeful? Antonus really hoped he wasn’t reading too much into Loki’s voice.

Antonus lifted his head and smiled. “We’ll see, Green Eyes.” With that, he turned and walked away, a smile on his face so firmly that you couldn’t slap it off of him and a spring in his step that had even his father pausing in mild confusion.

And from that day forward, he was Tony. Of course, most people still referred to him as Antonus. He didn’t tell anyone about the encounter with Loki, especially not his father, and he didn’t tell a soul that he now preferred to be called Tony, because that could just bring up far too many questions that he’d rather not answer. 

Rather, he thought of himself, now, as Tony, and he kept the name as something his own, something that belonged only to him and Loki.

However, that’s getting ahead of things, isn’t it?

The next time he saw Loki was that night. He and his father had gone home, but his father had been busy for the rest of the day, so Tony’d had quite a bit of time to himself, most of which he spent replaying every moment of the meeting and subsequent encounter. He was determined not to forget a moment of it, he’d commit it all to memory and, even if he never met the prince again, he’d still have those memories for himself. 

He awoke that night around midnight to soft clacks and pops at his window. At first, he opted to ignore it, rolling over and trying to get back to sleep, but a larger strike finally roused him and he went to the window, opening it and ducking out of the way just in time to have another pebble sail by his head. 

“What the-”

“Oh, sorry!” a voice called from below. Tony looked down to see Loki, standing there in a black cloak that made him almost blend in with the dark street. “Hey, Tony,” he said, and even if Tony couldn’t quite make out his features, he had the distinct feeling that he was smiling.

“Loki?” Tony said, looking down in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to rescue you,” he replied with a laugh.

“What?” Tony was starting to suspect that he was dreaming. “Really?”

“No, not really,” he said, laughing harder. “I snuck out and you’re going to do the same.”

“Why?”

“We’re going to have some fun tonight.”

‘Fun’ turned out to be sneaking into the palace. It was dark, though there were still guards patrolling, so sneaking around required a lot of hiding on short notice and running down hallways, trying to stifle their laughter as they tried to avoid detection.

The biggest challenge, Loki told him, was the largest hall. Loki knew from experience that one could easily get to the other end before another guard arrived, but the next guard would already be in that hallway and they’d be caught. And if he was caught out of bed, sneaking around, not to mention bringing a commoner with him into the palace, Odin would be furious.

While fraternizing with commoners wasn’t strictly forbidden, it was clear that Odin frowned upon it for his sons, and it would just add to his anger if they were caught.

Lucky for them, there was a broom cupboard about halfway down the hallway, and if they ran, they could make it into the cupboard without being seen.

Loki told him to wait until he said, peeking around the corner to watch the guard. “Okay...now!”

And Loki took off, grabbing Tony’s hand and pulling him along with him. They ran until Loki skidded to a stop (causing Tony to run into him) and pulled the door open, tugging him into the closet and closing the door with a soft, barely audible click, just as the next guard walked by to continue his rounds. They waited, silently grinning at each other, hands still clasped together, until they knew the guard was gone, and then they departed, going down the next hallway, slower now, and neither of them was pulling their hand out of the other’s grasp. 

When they finally arrived at their destination (which Loki had kept steadfastly secret the entire time) Tony found himself standing in a garden, a massive area with distant, high stone walls and an open night sky above them. It was filled with various flowers and a towering hedge before him. He looked around, turning full circle, and said, “Loki, where are we?”

“This is my garden,” he said proudly, looking at Tony, rather than at the garden. “The guards don’t come in here, because they know I don’t let anyone else in. Not usually, at least.” He started walking, pacing easily around the place and finally pulling his hand from Tony’s. “I come here to think or just to be alone. Palace life can be a bit...tedious, as it were. It’s nice to be able to get away and be with my thoughts.”

Tony tore his eyes away from the garden to meet Loki’s gaze. “If you don’t usually bring people here, then why did you bring me? You hardly know me.”

Loki shrugged, walking over to one of the flowering bushes, which was looking a bit wilted, even in the dark. He stroked one of the leaves with his finger and Tony watched as the blooms rejuvenated and the entire bush came back to life under his touch. Finally, Loki turned back to him. “You’re different.”

“How so?” How could Loki possibly have decided that already? They’d only spoken once, not nearly long enough to reach such a conclusion.

“You treated me like a person, not like a prince.” Tony cocked his head in question. “You know, it gets pretty lonely here. Thor has his friends, nobles, all of royal blood, but I can’t stand them. Wretches, all of them. Everyone wants to befriend Thor, the future king of Asgard, and I’m generally cast aside, or included as an afterthought. ‘Thor, let’s go hunting! Oh, yeah, you can bring Loki.’ ‘Hey, Thor, we’re going to the arena. How about it? Oh, yeah, and Loki can come too, I suppose.’ People are so eager to get close to my brother, but no one is eager to get close to me.” He paused, searching for words. “I’m just so tired of all the courtesy. Bowing heads and calling me ‘Highness’ and all of that. I’m Loki, no one more, and no one less. And then you showed up.” He walked over to Tony, stepping close and taking his hand again. “I could tell immediately that you were different. Extraordinary. And then, when we talked after.” Tony smiled at the memory. “I was actually shocked when you acted the way you did. Calling me ‘Green Eyes’. No one does that.”

“Does what?” 

“Takes an interest in me.”

Tony gave him a soft smile, squeezed his hand lightly, and then bolted, running into what he’d determined to be a hedge maze, laughing and leaving Loki there with confusion playing across his face. He only waited a moment, though, before running after him, laughing and calling for him to come back. Tony, of course, didn’t listen, continuing to run deeper into the labyrinth, shouting back the occasional taunt. And eventually, he looked back and Loki wasn’t behind him anymore. He continued running, breathing hard, though he craned his neck to look for Loki.

He’d just considered that, perhaps he’d lost him, when he ran into something, or rather, someone, and they both tumbled onto the ground, laughing, Tony landing on top of Loki in a heap.

“How’d you do that?” he demanded, smiling slightly and giving him a light hit on the arm.

“Magic,” Loki replied with a wicked grin. “How do you think I do anything?”

“That how you knew where I lived, too?”

“Indeed.” Loki looked so smug beneath him, Tony kind of wanted to slap the expression off of his face, and then he felt Loki’s arms wind around his waist, turning what had been a pile into an embrace. Tony was confused for a moment, but he didn’t pull away, just smiled down at him. He hesitated, and decided to take a chance on this, leaning down to press his lips to Loki’s.

To his relief, Loki didn’t pull away or release him or anything. The arms around him tightened ever so slightly, and Loki and deepened the kiss, tongue tentatively pressing against Tony’s lower lip, requesting entry. And Tony was all too happy to oblige him.

What started out as a quick, chaste kiss soon turned into more, with them both pressing close and asking for more without saying anything. It was all Loki against Tony, with Loki’s arms wrapped around him and Tony’s hands pressed to his chest.

When they finally ended the kiss, they were both breathing hard, and they stared at each other, both trying to comprehend what had just happened. Loki was the one who finally broke the silence. “Well, that was...”

“Amazing?” Tony offered. Because it’d been amazing for him. Loki’s lips had been slightly cool against his, but his mouth was warm and when his tongue had contacted Tony’s, it was wickedly good, making Tony’s pulse quicken, even now, after they’d separated. 

“I was going to say ‘unexpected’,” Loki replied. One of his fingers was moving in small circles at Tony’s lower back. “Though, I suppose that works, too.”

Tony chuckled, leaning down to kiss him again and suddenly, Loki pushed them over, so that it was Tony who was being pressed to the ground now, with Loki on top of him. “Not fair,” he said, winding his arms around Loki’s neck. 

“Totally fair,” Loki insisted, moving his lips to Tony’s neck to distract him. And Tony really couldn’t bring himself to argue.

After that, things changed for both of them. They were seen together often, though they kept the true nature of their relationship hidden. Most simply assumed they were close friends, as they intended. The only person who knew, aside from the two of them, was Thor, who’d somehow figured it out. Tony had been at the market one day when, suddenly, he was pulled into an alleyway and greeted by the large, threatening form of Thor, who proceeded to tell him exactly how he was to treat his brother and assured, in no uncertain terms, exactly what would happen if Thor disliked Tony’s conduct in relation to Loki.

Tony had left, visibly shaken, but fortunately, in one piece. He’d been under the impression that Thor was about to send him straight to Valhalla!

And he’d been sure to treat Loki extra well that day when he pressed him into the bed, leaving reverent red marks across his neck and chest. 

The only two who seemed to have any problem with them being close were Odin and Howard. Odin never said anything outright to either of them, though he cast a generally disapproving eye on them when he saw them in the palace. Loki said that he suspected the only reason Odin hadn’t said anything was because Thor had told him not to. 

Tony had remembered the conversation with Thor in the alley and smiled.

Howard had actually spoken up about it, though not when Loki was around. He’d told Tony that what he was doing was shameful (and Tony thought for a moment that his father was privy to the true nature of their relationship, but Howard continued and alleviated that fear quickly) and told him that he shouldn’t be running around with someone better than him, wasting Loki’s time. But Tony steadfastly refused to stop and Howard had finally thrown his hands up and left the room, muttering to himself.

They grew with each other, spending almost every day together. Tony watched Loki study magic, watched as he grew into an incredibly cunning and powerful sorcerer. The things he could do with a murmur or a look were amazing. Tony made a point of telling him that often, and he never got tired of the way Loki would light up upon hearing that.

They snuck out often, and as Loki had learned to mask himself and others from view, it was quite easy to get around the guards. He gave Tony an amulet which would allow him to enter the palace at night and get by the guards, so long as he didn’t make any noise, as it wouldn’t mask sound. They spent most nights together, curled up with their legs intertwined, foreheads pressed together, and arms tangled around or between them.

Tony and Loki’s relationship progressed quite quickly. The first time they laid together, it was awkward and inexperienced for both of them, and both came out of it sore in places they’d rather not be sore, but they both learned quickly, figuring out exactly how to please the other, where they liked to be touched, and how. Loki loved it when Tony sucked at his neck and this one spot just below his jaw, Tony would release this small noise of pleasure when Loki swept his hands down his sides to pin his hips. And Tony’s favorite was the desperate little gasps Loki let out when Tony tugged at his long hair. They got to know each other better, learning all the little things, like the way that Loki’s hair would curl out of control in the mornings, before he slicked it back and tamed it. Tony liked to play with it in the morning and try to tease it into curling again during the day, and Loki learned that the snuffling noises Tony made when he was sleeping that meant that he was having a bad dream. Loki would wake him up with a kiss, on his lips or his cheeks or his shoulder or wherever he felt like, and Tony would open his eyes and pull him close, mumbling, “Thanks, Green Eyes.” 

Of course, it wasn’t always blissful and happy. They fought on occasion, usually small squabbles and quarrels, though the worst resulted in Loki pushing Tony out of his chambers in a huff. Tony was starting down the hall, muttering to himself, when he saw Thor, who had trained him with a steely gaze. Tony stared at him for a moment, then sighed and turned around, walking back to the door to Loki’s chambers and knocking, saying, “Lokiiiii, come on, let me in.”

Finally, the door opened and Loki’s arm reached out to jerk him inside. Tony was about to apologize when Loki’s lips were on his and whatever they’d been fighting about was forgotten as he was pinned to a wall and any arguments or apologies were lost in the moans and gasps as they coaxed each other through the climax. 

Even when they weren’t fighting, things weren’t all sunshine and skipping through fields of daisies. Loki was easily frustrated, especially when it came to Thor and his friends. Thor cared, and he tried to take an interest in Loki, though his form of ‘taking an interest’ was usually inviting Loki along with him and his friends, and assuring Loki that it was preposterous to think they had any ill feelings towards him. 

Loki had stormed into his chambers after one such encounter, already knowing that Tony would be there, and immediately started pacing and ranting. They were older, now. Both fully fledged men, though Tony was still living with his father, and Loki still in the palace. Both were fairly certain their fathers knew of the extent of their relationship, though as neither had mentioned it thus far, they chose not to bring it up.

Tony looked up from the book he’d been reading on Loki’s bed, arm braced behind his head, and raised an eyebrow. It was particularly hot that day, even with the window open, so Tony was sprawled out on Loki’s bed without his shirt. It was almost offensive, really, the way Loki just carried on about his brother and his friends, without even taking a moment to appreciate all the skin he was putting on display for him over here. 

And now Loki had moved one to curses and threats, saying he’d bind and quarter Fandral, lock Volstagg in a room without food and see how long it would take him to starve or go mad (because he wasn’t sure which would happen first), and then find another way to murder Sif and Hogun just because they were annoying. 

Tony chuckled at his threats. “No you won’t.”

That made Loki pause, and he turned to Tony, nostrils flaring in anger and annoyance. “And how do you know just what I’ll do?”

“Because I know you, Loki,” Tony said, finally setting the book aside entirely and sitting up. “And trust me, you’re much more beautiful when you actually believe half the stuff coming out of your mouth.” Loki looked like he wanted to reply, but wasn’t sure what to say, so he just opted for looking at Tony in annoyance. Tony groaned and reached for Loki’s hand, pulling him over onto the bed and into his lap. Loki finally seemed to notice the state of his lover and smirked at him, running his hands down his chest appreciatively. Tony took one of Loki’s hands and laced their fingers together, bringing it up to kiss the back of it. “Hey, they mean nothing, okay? They _are_ nothing. It’s just you and me, alright? Just the two of us. You’re here, I’m here, and you’ve got a pretty nice ass.” He squeezed Loki’s ass for emphasis. “I don’t really see how we can ask for much more.”

The annoyance finally faded from Loki’s face and was replaced by amusement. “You’re shameless, aren’t you?”

Tony grinned back. “Yeah, but you love it.”

And they continued like that for a while. Spending all of their time together (as much as they could with Tony’s father giving him more responsibility and Odin expecting Loki to fill a more official capacity around the palace and in the kingdom). They still went to Loki’s garden - quite often, actually. It represented freedom, to both of them. The ability to run and jump and laugh together, and then fall down onto the grass next to each other, without any fear of discovery. They’d had each other on the soft grass more times than they could count, pressing close and rocking against the other under the vast spread of sky and sun and starlight, in stark contrast to the close intimacy of their embrace. Each time was better than the last, because they were always growing closer, always learning more about the other and how to please him.

Tony could remember all of those things. How they met and how they grew together and found themselves in each other and most of all, he remembers their last night together, the last night things were so perfect. The last night it seemed like they could last forever.

They were in the garden, groggy but not quite asleep after a particularly wild bout of lovemaking, arms wrapped around each other to fight off the chill. As Tony began to fall asleep, Loki had shaken him back into consciousness and said, “Tony, I want to ask you something.”

Tony was immediately awake and attentive, meeting his nervous gaze and saying, “Sure, anything.”

Loki seemed uncertain, something that Tony had rarely ever seen on his features, and he bit his lip. It was adorable, Tony would give him that, but so unlike Loki, that it had Tony leaning across the small gap to kiss Loki’s forehead and murmuring, “Anything, love. What is it?”

“I-I found this bit of magic the other day. It’s called...soul bonding.”

Tony pulled back upon hearing that, meeting Loki’s eyes. “Soul bonding? What’s that?”

Loki gave something of a shrug, like he was trying to downplay it, but he obviously knew that he’d started this, he’d have to go through with it now. “The spell said, ‘The souls of the two will become the one, and they will know each other wholly, and they will only be whole when they are together.’”

Tony was quiet for a moment, working through that. He leaned in to nuzzle his neck. “So it’s basically just a more official, magical excuse for me to want to be with you all the time.”

Loki chuckled lightly. “Yes, I suppose it could be interpreted that way.”

“And do you want to do it?”

“Yes.” Loki’s voice shook slightly, more anxious now than Tony had ever seen him.

“Then do it,” Tony told him, rubbing his thumb along his hip in the soothing way he knew always worked on Loki. “Bind us. Make me yours.”

“You’re already mine,” Loki assured him with a kiss, and then he pulled back and closed his eyes in the way Tony easily recognized as his ‘I’m about to do magic and this is serious business so you should be quiet now, Tony’ face. When he spoke again, there was an air of power in his voice. Tony couldn’t understand the words, he just knew they were beautiful as they rolled off Loki’s tongue. 

About halfway through the spell, he placed one hand on Tony’s heart, and the other on his own. A light appeared under Tony’s hand, just for a moment, burning bright and hot enough that Tony was pretty sure it had burned him. He let out a small cry of pain, and then a gasp as Loki completed the spell, and it was like he could feel...everything. Like his love for Loki had doubled and so had everything else. He pulled Loki close, gripping him to keep from losing himself in the waves of emotion and warmth, and could feel an adoration that wasn’t entirely his own course through him.

“Is that...is that you?” he asked, eyes widening as he tried to sort through it all. Loki was brilliant, he’d known that since he’d first laid eyes one him, but being able to feel it... Loki shone so brightly, far brighter, Tony was sure, than he ever could.

Loki nodded. “And I can feel you, too.” He pressed his forehead to Tony’s. “I love you, Tony. Thank you.”

They slept in each other’s arms for a while, though Loki roused him a few hours later, telling him that they’d go back to his chambers, as a chill had crept over the place. They slept the rest of that night pressed as close as they possibly could, with Loki’s head tucked into the comfortable crook in Tony’s shoulder where it was warm and safe and smelled like that wonderful, familiar scent of _Tony._

Yes, things were perfect for them.

For a while.

But things couldn’t stay that way forever, could they?

The next day, Loki awoke early and kissed Tony awake, telling him he had to go to a meeting of the Royal Council. Tony had mumbled sleepily in reply, some cross between “goodbye” and “I love you.”

Loki left, attended the council meeting, and returned a few hours later to find Tony laying on the bed and reading a book. He looked up when Loki entered, a broad grin spreading across his face. He crossed the room and pulled him into and embrace, kissing him deeply. “I missed you,” he murmured against his lips.

Loki laughed. “I was only gone a few hours, Tony.”

“I know.” Tony shrugged. “But I could feel it. The whole soul thing, I think.”

Loki nodded. He’d felt the same thing. “Yes, that’ll do it.” He grinned. “But, you know what we didn’t do last night.”

Tony perked up at that. “What?”

“We didn’t celebrate last night.” He smirked wickedly. 

Tony kissed him again. “And do you have something specific in mind?”

Loki pushed Tony back against the wall, dropping to his knees and hands going to the waist of Tony’s pants while Tony’s hand wove into Loki’s hair, grinning in anticipation.

Loki was good at dragging things out for the both of them, taking Tony to the edge and then backing off, taking him to the edge and backing off, until Tony was whining and begging for it. 

And it was at that point that they were caught.

Odin banged on the door and opened it without waiting for a reply, catching both of them by surprise, finding Loki kneeling in front of Tony, cock in his mouth and eyes widening as he realized that they’d been discovered.

Needless to say, Odin hadn’t been happy. He’d started screaming. Screaming at Tony for degrading his son and screaming at Loki for degrading himself and his family.

And then he’d banished Tony.

Out into the wilderness with nothing but a cloak to, hopefully, keep him warm, and even that hadn’t been by Odin’s order - it had appeared, courtesy of Loki, as a last effort to keep his lover safe, though they both knew what banishment meant.

It meant cold and solitude until, finally, one of the animals finished you off.

That was what awaited Tony out in the wilderness.

And so, Antonus Howardson, lover of the prince of Asgard, finished his life in the wilderness, huddled next to a fire, trying desperately to keep warm and knowing that the light would probably attract an animal out of the forest.

He rubbed his chest constantly, right over his heart. He could feel the distance, feel the separation, and feel the hopelessness that had overtaken Loki in his absence. He had felt the beatings earlier, as well. Each impact had brought another wave of desperation.

Tony bowed his head, finally letting a tear fall, just as he heard a roar. Looking up, a bilgesnipe was charging him, getting closer, showing no sign of stopping, and-

Tony awoke with a start, back in an unfamiliar bed with an all-too-familiar god of mischief beside him. He was breathing hard, trying to sort through everything that had just played out, but he tried to calm himself. Loki was there, he was safe, he wasn’t about to be trampled by bilgesnipe.

And the fact that Loki’s presence came before his own safety on his list of priorities was probably something that should have stuck out to him, but somehow, it wasn’t.

He looked around the room quickly, twisting to find the clock, which read 3:00 AM in glowing green letters. It had only been a few hours, then. Not several years of spending every day with the Norse god currently embracing him.

That was...intense. He wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to sort through all of it. All he knew was that there was a feeling that burned inside him, welling up and making his heart beat faster every time he saw Loki.

Loki looked completely wrecked beside him. His mouth was open slightly in sleep, and his hair was strewn across the pillow wildly. But he was now releasing a soft groan and opening his eyes, awoken by the man’s movements. “Tony? What is it?”

Tony had to admit, seeing Loki like this - groggy and slightly annoyed with his hair thrown everywhere - was extremely satisfying.

He thought back through everything he’d seen, thought about telling Loki, and decided against it quickly. “It’s...it’s nothing. Just a dream. Go back to sleep, Green Eyes.”

 He immediately realized his mistake, but Loki’s reaction was slightly delayed. He mumbled something that Tony was pretty sure was, “‘Kay,” and laid his head back down on the pillow, closing his eyes to fall back asleep, and then his eyes opened again, wide. He lifted his head to look at Tony, almost like he didn’t want to believe it. “T-Tony?”

Tony grinned. “Hey there, Green Eyes.”

Loki tensed, sitting up and holding Tony by the shoulders, hauling him up to face him seriously. “Stark, this is important. Tell me now, do you remember? Do you remember me? Us? That life?”

Tony nodded, meeting his frantic gaze and placing his hand on his cheek, stroking his hand over his cheekbone. “Yup, it’s all up here. I remember. I remember you, I remember us and all the shenanigans we got up to.” He grinned and quirked an eyebrow suggestively. “I remember everywhere you like to be touched, and how.” He brushed his fingers over the spot on his neck just below the ball of his jaw, the spot that Tony could kiss and suck at and feel Loki fall to pieces in his arms.

He also remembered a few of Loki’s tricks in bed that he _definitely_ needed to get the guy to use, but he supposed that was a discussion for another time.

Suddenly, he was being pressed into the mattress and a certain god was kissing him adamantly, though there wasn’t anything sexual or demanding about the gesture. It was more joyous and disbelieving, Tony thought. 

He wrapped his arms around Loki’s thin waist, grinning up at him. “Happy to see me, then?”

Loki nodded, placing a kiss on the side of Tony’s neck. “I missed you.”

“How am I even back?” That was something that was bothering him. He shouldn’t be human.

“I don’t know,” Loki admitted. “Something about your banishment and the spell, I think. It stuck your soul in a cycle of human reincarnation. You can’t move on, because your soul is trapped, still bound to mine, after all this time.”

Something about his wording stuck out to Tony. “‘After all this time’? Jesus, Green Eyes, how long do you have to wait for me?”

He shrugged. “It depends. The shortest I’ve had to wait was a few decades. You were reborn so soon after, I hardly had to wait at all.”

“And how long did you have to wait this time?” Loki hesitated. “Come on, you can tell me. I want to know.”

“Your last death occurred in 1896,” he finally said.

“1896?” Tony exclaimed. “You telling me you’ve been waiting for me for a hundred and sixteen years?!”

Loki shrugged again. “I didn’t have much of a choice, and I did other things, too...”

“Is this why you’re so...” Tony trailed off, not sure he actually wanted to finish that question.

“So what?” Loki asked, eyes narrowing every so slightly.

“So different,” Tony finally said, after a long, tense moment. “You’re so dark now. I can feel it, right in here.” He placed his hand over the arc reactor. “It hurts, Loki, it really does. You were so bright when we were younger, and it scares me to see you like this.” Loki wasn’t meeting his gaze anymore, though. He was staring at Tony’s hand and the small bits of light that escaped through his fingers. Hesitantly, Loki reached out and placed his hand over Tony’s. The man looked down at it and stared, considering. He took a deep breath and, slowly, pulled his hand away, leaving Loki’s hand pressed lightly to the smooth object. Loki looked at it in fascination, thumb stroking the metal rim.

Finally, Loki spoke again. “My heart is dark, Tony. You once described me as brilliant, but that was a long time ago. And a lot has happened since then. I’ve watched you die so many times, watched my entire family turn against me...” 

He paused and averted his eyes, looking down. Tony’s heart clenched, and he lifted Loki’s chin, forcing him to look at him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

The side of Loki’s mouth pulled up slightly into a half smile. “I missed you, Tony,” he said, repeating what he’d said earlier.

“I’m here now, Green Eyes.”

They soon fell back asleep, falling back into the familiar as their legs tangled and their hands intertwined between them and Loki pressed close, tucking his head into the familiar crook where it was safe and warm and perfect.

Loki awoke the next morning to find the bed empty and the sound of a voice drifting into the room. He pulled on a pair of pajama pants and wandered out, yawning as he walked into the kitchen to find Tony making eggs in his boxers, dancing around and loudly singing some song that Loki didn’t recognize, using the whisk as a makeshift microphone. He turned around and grinned as he heard Loki pull out a chair at the counter. He came over and leaned across the counter to kiss him, murmuring “mornin’” against his lips then pulling back to say, “I hope you like omelets.”

When he pulled away, he rushed back to the stove and turned down the burner. As he pulled the pan off the stove, his finger slipped and touched the hot metal. “Ah!” he exclaimed, barely managing to get the pan onto the counter without dropping it. He put his finger in his mouth, trying to soothe the burn. 

Loki was smirking at him, seeming amused by the sight. “I’s not funny,” Tony griped, glaring at him.

“Darling, I assure you it is,” Loki said. “Oh, come here, let me look at it.”

Tony stared at him for a moment, considering the potential damage to his pride, but seeing as he’d been jumping up in the air moments before, waving his hand around in an attempt to ease the pain, he finally agreed and walked around the counter, offering his hand to Loki.

Loki inspected the injury for a moment, then lifted his hand, making like he was going to touch the burn, but he didn’t. Not yet. He held one of his fingers out, almost in contact with the inflamed flesh. Tony’s eyes widened when he saw what Loki was doing. His hand was turning blue and he could feel the chill even with an inch between Loki’s skin and his own. Loki pressed his thumb to the burn and Tony gasped. Loki’s skin was ice cold, soothing the burn. After a long moment, Loki murmured a few words and when he pulled his hand away, the burn was gone.

Tony stared at him, mouth gaping. “Babe, what the hell was that?” He took Loki’s hand and inspected it as the color returned to its normal creamy tone. “That wasn’t your normal magic, that looked like...that looked like jotunn skin.”

Loki looked away. “I told you a lot has happened since your death.”

Tony pressed the hand to his face. It was still cool, though not the icy temperature it had been before, and he pressed a kiss to his palm. “I want to know what happened. All of it.” Loki looked back to him and he met Tony’s gaze for a long moment. Neither of them said anything, until Tony grinned broadly and said, “But first, eggs!”

Loki rolled his eyes, but his stomach was growling, and he realized that neither of them had eaten anything since the day before. He grinned back and gladly accepted the plate as Tony took the seat next to him, eating his eggs spoonfuls at a time. Tony was focused on his food, and while Loki was eating as well, his eyes never left Tony. Because, as with every incarnation, there was so much of his Tony in there. All the memories, many of the mannerisms. The way he would grin, like he owned the whole world. The way he would strut around with confidence that was often unfounded, but he didn’t really care.

But he wasn’t wholly Loki’s Tony. There was a tightness around the eyes, a sense of self-loathing that Loki could feel rocking through him with each beat of Tony’s heart, and a certain darkness that Loki knew all too well.

His eyes focused on the glowing circle, only slightly hidden behind Tony’s t-shirt. He’d seen it before, but it had been obvious that Tony didn’t want to discuss it. Perhaps he would now, now that he remembered everything.

“So, darling, what _is_ that thing in your chest?” he finally said, setting his fork on his now-empty plate and pushing it aside.

Tony paused and glanced down at the arc reactor, swallowing nervously. “It’s...a long story...”

Loki’s expression faltered and shifted to something more gentle. When he spoke, he was quiet. “Your heart is precious to me, Tony. And if that...that thing is your heart, then I want to know about it. I want to hear it.”

And so Tony told him. Told him about the trip to Afghanistan, about his reputation before he’d taken the company in a new direction, about the ambush and the cave that became his new home. About Yinsen and the suit and all of it, sparing no details. He told him about his injury and the shrapnel still trying to kill him with every beat of his heart. And Loki listened to every bit, sitting there watching him. He didn’t make a sound, barely moved but to take Tony’s hand when he told him about Yensin’s death. And when he finished, Loki didn’t say anything for a long while. He moved to embrace Tony, wrapping his arms around him from behind and running one finger lightly around the rim of the arc reactor. 

He pressed his lips to his hair and murmured, “Tony Stark, you are extraordinary.”

Tony chuckled, but it sounded forced. “Guilty.” He paused. “Okay, I told you everything, now you spill.” He turned around on the stool, wrapping his arms around Loki and grinning. “I want to know everything that I missed.”

Loki smiled back at him - something that Tony noticed he didn’t do as often anymore; he made a mental note to change that - and shook his head. “Another time, love. For now, I think we need to work some things out.”

Tony didn’t miss the evasion, but he let it slide. The man raised an eyebrow. “Such as?”

“Such as the fact that you’ve technically been missing for about 24 hours now, with me as your abductor.”

“Oh, that.” Tony had actually forgotten. He’d been so focused on Loki that it hadn’t even occurred to him that everyone back at SHIELD and the Avengers were probably frantically searching for him. Another thing occurred to him. “Asgard doesn’t want you here, do they?”

He shook his head. “Nope, I escaped prison during a brief lapse in security, and I’m currently a fugitive.”

Tony nodded. So, they had all of SHIELD, the Avengers, and Asgard looking for them, trying to get them back.

And here they were, having eggs.

“Well, shit,” Tony finally said, dropping his arms. “You got any bright ideas?”

Loki smirked. “Maybe one.”

Turns out, Loki’s “bright idea” was just calling up Fury.

And so Tony did. 

Fury sounded shocked when he picked up the phone. “Stark? Where the hell are you?” His voice came through the speaker sounding slightly frantic and extremely confused.

“Uh, can’t say, Chief,” he replied. “Not sure where I am, actually.” Okay, out the window, he could actually see three street signs and a Vietnamese restaurant that would tell them exactly where he was, but he wasn’t about to admit that. 

“You okay?” Tony knew Fury wasn’t actually asking because he wanted that answer. He knew the procedure. It was a way to keep him talking, keep him on the line to trace the call, even though Tony knew Loki was ensuring that they’d never get an actual location. Not one that wasn’t out in the middle of the South Pacific, at least.

No, Fury was waiting for the codeword, “gumdrops.” Tony had rolled his eyes when he’d heard it and immediately turned to Coulson with his eyebrows raised judgmentally. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tony said, and he could practically hear Fury holding his breath, waiting for Tony to say the word. Tony even knew how he’d work it in.

But he didn’t.

He continued on. “Loki has some demands for you, in exchange for me.”

“Oh? And what makes him think we’re planning to do anything for him?” Tony almost wanted to laugh at how unamused Fury sounded on the speaker, but he supposed that was just how the guy sounded in general. 

Still funny, though.

Loki came up behind him and said, “Because your precious Iron Man’s life will be forfeit if you don’t.”

Tony turned to Loki with an eye roll, mouthing the word, “Really?”

Loki grinned back and climbed onto Tony so that he was straddling his lab, pressing his finger to his lips. Finally, Fury grudgingly replied, “I’ll see what I can do. But it depends what you want.”

“I want an official pardon from Earth, as well as a pardon from Asgard.” Tony looked up at him quickly. He’d known Loki had some demands, but he hadn’t know the specifics, and him asking for that was...wow. 

And he wasn’t entirely certain SHIELD would deem his life worth freeing the guy who’d tried to invade Earth only a year before.

There was a long pause and Tony was pretty sure Fury was holding the phone up to his ear, mouth hanging open, speechless. Or, more likely, seeing as Coulson’s voice was next to come on the line, he was leaning over the speakerphone with his jaw on the floor. “Tony? It’s Phil. Listen, we’re seeing what we can do, and we’ll try to get you out of there as soon as we can. But do you think you can sit tight for a while?”

Tony wanted to laugh at Phil’s wording. He placed his hands on Loki’s slender hips and looked at him. Loki had still yet to put a shirt on, revealing the toned expanse of his chest, and was currently staring at him with an eyebrow raised suggestively. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

So Tony spent another day with Loki. He still hadn’t gotten the full story of Loki’s exploits since his death, but it wasn’t exactly something he could ask when he was buried balls deep in a god of mischief, so Tony didn’t ask.

They’d get there, he reasoned.

He’d find out.

Eventually.

Around two in the afternoon, Tony’s phone rang again. He quickly kissed Loki and padded across the room to answer it. “Are you here to rescue me?” he asked by way of greeting, grinning at Loki, who was chuckling in recognition.

“Put him on,” Fury growled.

Tony hit the SPEAKER button and handed it to Loki, who took it and said, “Do you have news for me?”

“We’re prepared to meet your requests, full pardons from Earth and Asgard, but first, we’d like some reassurance from Stark. Put him back on.”

Loki handed the phone back to Tony. “Tony Stark speaking.”

“What did one snowman say to the other snowman?” Fury asked him without preamble. 

Loki gave him an extremely confused look and Tony had to keep himself from laughing as he replied, because there’d definitely be questions as to why he was laughing while he was being held captive. “Smells like carrots.”

“If you’ll give us a location, we’ll pick you up as soon as possible.”

Tony turned to Loki, who snapped his fingers and took the phone, holding it up to his mouth and saying, “Director Fury, if you check now, you’ll find this signal broadcasting a location. I look forward to seeing you again.”

Loki snapped the phone closed and turned to Tony. “Smells like carrots?”

Tony laughed. “It’s one of SHIELD’s codes. There are two answers, ‘Smells like carrots’ and ‘We’re trapped in a snow globe.’ One means ‘I’m fine’ and the other means ‘I’m being tortured and dying help me’.”

Loki ran his hands down Tony’s arms. “And which did you give him?”

Tony grinned and kissed him, running his hands appreciatively over the god’s ass. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

SHIELD showed up less than an hour later. There was a bang on the door, and then the door was almost torn from its hinges and the flat was flooded with agents. Tony and Loki were sitting on the couch together when they arrived, discussing logistics and plans (aka did they want to pursue this - yes - and how would they like to pursue it - with Tony suggesting that Loki just move into the tower - and how would SHIELD react - they wouldn’t like it but with his pardons, it should be fine).

One moment, they were sitting together, discussing their lives and how they’d carry forward, and the next moment, there were eight agents storming the place and Loki was pinned to the floor and Coulson was standing in the middle of it, talking into his bluetooth and telling HQ that Tony seemed to be fine.

Tony looked down at Loki, pinned under three agents, and he was putting up a fight. Tony tried to shove them off, telling them to stop, but they just elbowed him away and continued trying to restrain him. Loki was calling out his name and the agents were still fighting with him and then a syringe came out and it was lights out for Loki.

Coulson was at his side, trying to pull him back, and Tony whirled on him, fuming. “What the hell is this?” he shouted. “He was pardoned!”

“Please calm down, Mr. Stark,” Coulson was saying. “He was pardoned on Earth, yes, but we tried with Asgard and they wouldn’t budge. They’re threatening war if we don’t return him.”

“Return him-You’re sending him back?”

“That’s the plan, yes.” Coulson turned to one of the agents who’d restrained Loki. “Make sure you used enough sedative. We don’t want him waking up in the van before we get back to HQ.”

“You can’t do this!” Tony insisted, putting himself between the door and the agents wheeling Loki out.

Coulson stared at him, expression shifting from confusion to suspicion to realization. “Tony, you didn’t.”

He didn’t even try to deny it. He held his chin up high and met Coulson’s gaze. “Phil, please.”

“I’m sorry, Tony, I don’t have a choice. It’s him or the Earth.”

And so Tony watched as they wheeled Loki out of the room on a gurney, and when all the agents had cleared out, Coulson stayed behind with Tony. Tony was sitting on the couch trying to figure out exactly what had happened over the past 48 hours and Coulson came up in front of him, standing there without saying anything.

Finally, Tony spoke. “I’m not sorry, Coulson. If you’re here hoping I’ll renounce my decisions or say he was controlling me, you can leave now, because I won’t say it.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Coulson replied. He sat down on the coffee table and looked at him seriously. “I just need to know that you’re not a potential security threat. Agents can get burned for this, put on surveillance for the rest of their lives.”

Tony looked up at him sharply. “What, like you can judge me? Like I don’t know about what you and Clint get up to during missions?”

Coulson’s jaw clenched. “Agent Barton’s and my conduct is none of your concern, and anyway, a relationship between agents is a matter for HR. A relationship between an operative and a target, on the other hand, is well-within my jurisdiction. I mean, really, Tony? What were you thinking?”

He shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” Coulson insisted. _“Convince me_ that getting involved with Loki was a good idea. You’ll need to come back to base to debrief, but right now, assure me that you aren’t a threat and I won’t include this in the report.”

Tony took a deep breath. He didn’t even know where to start. “It’s...difficult to explain.” He looked away.

Coulson’s eyebrows rose. The man had always been good at reading between the lines, just as Tony had always excelled at writing between them. “Oh, I...I see. Look, just...can you honestly tell me that he won’t be a threat?”

Tony met his gaze again and he nodded. “Yeah, I swear, he won’t be a problem anymore.”

“You must have had quite an impact on him, then.” Coulson turned and left then, leaving Tony alone in the flat.

Long after Coulson was after earshot, Tony smiled, small and sad, and murmured, “You have no idea.”

* * *

He made his way in to HQ later that night, slightly inebriated, and sat in the conference room while Coulson debriefed him. It was recorded, as per standard procedure, and Coulson had a manilla folder open in front of him, making notes.

Tony answered each question to the minimum required, and flubbed some of the facts when necessary. As far as the report said, Loki abducted him to use as a bargaining chip so that he could be free of pursuit by Asgard and SHIELD. And that was it.

Then he was forced to go to medical, to sit through being poked and prodded, until the doctors finally said he was fine. Exactly what he’d been insisting the entire time, but whatever. He always said that after ops, so he couldn’t exactly blame them for not believing him.

Coulson showed up at the end, and just as Tony was about to leave, he turned back, hesitating. “Can I see him?”

Coulson nodded slowly. “Yeah, but you’ll be on camera, and he’ll be unconscious for another 8 hours or so.” Tony grimaced. “Go down if you want, they’ve set up accommodations in cargo area C but don’t say anything you don’t want recorded. Clint’s on duty in the morning, you want to sit in?” Tony nodded. The Phil walked closer, leaning in so that only Tony could hear what he was saying. “I’ll come by tomorrow night around 8 and make sure the cameras are off, give you some time to talk to him.”

“When are they coming to take him back to Asgard?” He wasn’t actually sure he wanted this answer, but he had to know.

He had to know how long before he lost Loki forever.

“They’re coming tomorrow at midnight.”

Tony nodded. “Thanks, Phil. I really appreciate it.” He had until then to think of how to saw goodbye.

Phil leaned in, dropping his voice further. “And if you could keep the stuff about Clint and me between us...”

Tony grinned. “You’re lucky you haven’t been caught yet. Who do you think’s been stealing the tapes to keep you unnoticed?”

Tony walked away, allowed his words to sink in. Phil stood there for another moment, considering, and decided that he’d have to ask Tony for those tapes sometime.

Then he went off to find Clint, see what he was up to and if it was anything that could be interrupted. 

Tony made his way down to the cell where they were holding Loki. It was made of glass, entirely sealed, and not all that different from the one they’d kept him in on the helicarrier, the one designed for Bruce. An extremely similar setup, as well. There was the glass cage, and a path running around it, so that Loki could be seen and studied from any angle. There was an observation booth, as well, separate from the inner chamber, though a window and door connected the two. Standard procedure was at least one agent on monitoring duty at all times. When Tony entered, he looked up to the window. There were two.

Loki was laid out on a bed. He’d been changed into a white jumpsuit, standard issue for SHIELD prisoners, and he was unconscious, sedated, as Coulson had said. He looked around, surprised to see Bruce nearby, hitting buttons on a status screen and taking some readings.

He looked up when Tony entered. “Oh, hey, Tony.” He smiled. “It’s good to have you back.” Tony knew he wasn’t just talking about having recovered him from Loki’s clutches.

He simply nodded in Bruce’s direction, eyes focused on Loki.

Bruce came to stand by his side and looked at the sleeping god, as well. “I’ve been modifying the cage built for the Hulk.”

So it _was_ the cage from the helicarrier. “Modifying how?”

“Well, we have all kinds of readings on Loki’s magic, from your lab and from the apartment where you were held. I worked out a way to neutralize it.” He gestured to the cage. “There’s no way he can escape that place.”

Tony looked up sharply. “You did what? Where did you get those scans?”

Bruce looked confused. “From the archives in your lab. You gave me free access, remember?”

Tony did remember, though he’d practically forgotten. “You managed that quickly.” His nostrils flared and his hands clenched into fists, but he tried not to let it show too obviously.

Bruce let out a short bark of a laugh. “Not really. I’ve been working on it for months. The scans from the apartment were the final piece I needed, though. Finally allowed me to lock onto his magic and finish it.”

“Months?” he asked, incredulous. “Why?” What possible use could it have? They’d had no indication that Loki would be back so soon, and it wasn’t exactly transferrable. Tony had looked into this technology enough to know that each magician’s magic had a specific signature to it. There was no catch-all shield for magic, not that he could make. The device that was currently neutralizing Loki’s magic would _only_ neutralize _Loki_. 

Bruce just shrugged. “SHIELD wanted someone to do it and you were out of commission, so I took up the project.”

Tony laughed bitterly. “And what, you always do what they ask, Brucey Boy?”

Bruce’s brows pulled together. “Tony, what are you-”

“You were a great scientist once,” he continued. He knew he shouldn’t be this angry at Bruce, none of his was his fault, he’d just provided some tech, done his part to contain the Big Bad. But he had gotten started now and the words wouldn’t stop spilling forth. “Now, you’re just a hack for those backstabbing sons of bitches. You know that they lied to him? Promised him freedom, and now look at him.” He gestured to Loki, who slept on, deceptive in how peaceful he appeared.

Bruce’s jaw clenched and Tony realized that he was getting to him, someone he’d never actually been able to do before. Abruptly, Banner turned on his heel and said, “I’m leaving.”

Tony desperately tried to stop himself, but he continued. “Oh, sure, Banner, run away, just like always. Afraid you’ll lose control?”

He turned back, shouting, “Tony, I’m leaving before I want to!”

Tony’s eyes widened as all trace of anger drained from him. He watched as Bruce left, punching the wall beside the door as he left, and then it was just Tony, standing there while Loki slept on, unaware of the turmoil brewing around him.

Tony groaned and pressed his head against the glass, knowing he’d have to deal with all he’d just said eventually, but not wanting to think about it. 

He wound up spending the night there. The pathway around the cage was carpeted and the room was warm enough, so it was easy for him to fall into a lull. The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was Loki, looking serene and alone.

He was awoken the next morning when Clint showed up. “Morning, Stark,” he said, voice way too loud for the early hour, nudging Tony with his foot to rouse him. “Coulson said you might still be here.”

“I bet he did,” Tony mumbled, forcing himself to sit up and yawning.

Clint just grinned back in a way that told Tony, in no uncertain terms, that he’d gotten laid the night before.

That, and the massive fucking hickey on the guy’s neck, but whatever.

He knocked on the door to the observation room and the two guards opened it a moment later, handing Clint the keys and leaving without a word. “Gentleman,” Clint greeted them with a nod, and they just groaned in reply, obviously ready to get some sleep.

Tony followed Clint into the observation booth. It was a small, cramped space.There was a large window on one wall, and below it was a desk with three monitors. There were two cushioned chairs there, worn to the point that the stuffing was coming out of them. In the corner, there was a mini fridge with a large dent in the front, and an ancient coffee machine and stack of styrofoam cups sat on top of it. There, they were monitoring Loki’s vitals and the device Bruce had rigged up to neutralize Loki.

Clint tapped at one of the touchscreens, checking some of the feedback. “Well, he’s not sedated anymore,” he said, turning back to Tony and gesturing to the readout. “Just sleeping. He’ll probably wake up soon.”

Tony nodded and sank into one of the chairs. It was lumpy and uncomfortable, but he wasn’t in the mood to complain. 

He could have known on his own that the sedation had worn off. He could feel it. When Loki was sedated, it’d been like an entire part of him had gone numb. It wasn’t necessarily painful or unpleasant, just slightly disconcerting. Now, he could feel Loki. The sensations were muffled by sleep, but he could feel him, and he was pretty sure he was dreaming.

Clint took the chair next to him, sliding over a styrofoam cup of coffee. “Thanks,” he said, eyes fixed on Loki.

There was a tense silence that stretched between them as they both stared out the window and sipped their coffee. Clint was the one who finally spoke. “Phil told me everything.” He paused. “Everything he knows, at least.”

Tony grimaced. “Did he, now?” He really wasn’t surprised. He was just wondering why Clint hadn’t run him through with an arrow yet.

Maybe he should be weary of being in such a small space with him...

Clint nodded. “He did. And he also assured me that Loki wouldn’t be a threat.” He turned to Tony seriously. “I’m not trusting you on this, I’m trusting _him_. He’s convinced that Loki doesn’t have you brainwashed, so I’ll trust him. But I swear, first time I get any indication that you’re going darkside, I’ll tie you down and hit you in the head until _I’m_ convinced you’re not one of Loki’s flunkies, we clear?”

Tony swallowed his coffee. “We’re clear.” Not that Clint would ever get the opportunity. Loki was going back, he knew that.

“Good. So what’s your plan for getting him out?”

Tony turned to him quickly in confusion. “What are you talking about? What plan?”

“You’re telling me you don’t have a plan?” he asked, incredulous.

Tony shook his head. “No, there’s no plan. It’s him or the Earth. I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Clint actually looked angry at him. “Are you serious? You’re just letting them take him? I mean, sure, I’m definitely not a fan of the guy, but I thought you were better.”

“Why do you care, Clint?” Tony demanded. “You should be glad to get rid of him.”

He threw up his hands. “Oh, I assure you, I am. But that doesn’t mean I want to deal with you moping around for the next year.”

Tony’s own hands clenched into fists. “Are you trying to say something to me?”

“I’m saying that, if it were Phil in that cage, I’d be doing everything I could to get him out, and you don’t even give a shit.”

“You think I don’t care? You think I don’t want him out of there? If you’re so eager to see him out, then release him! You have the code, don’t you?” He rose to his feet.

Clint laughed, low and foul. “I’d see him dead, if I could.”

At that, Tony lost it. He lunged for Clint, aiming for his throat. Clint moved quickly, catching his arms beneath his own and pinning Tony close to him. “Thank you,” he said with a triumphant grin, and head-butted Tony. Hard.

Tony wound up on the floor, moaning slightly, while Clint handed him an ice pack. “Sorry about that, Stark. I just needed to be sure.”

“You’re an asshole,” he groaned.

“But you’ll live, and I’ll rest a lot easier.” He looked over at the cage. “Speaking of, Sleeping Beauty over there just woke up.”

Tony got up quickly, though he had to reach out to catch himself on the table to keep from falling over. He looked over to the cage to see Loki, who was sitting up in the bed, looking dazed and bleary, but he met his gaze longingly. He felt a wave of reassurance wash over him through the bond. Loki nodded to him, barely perceptible, and Tony bowed his head in reply.

Loki’s gaze shifted to Clint, and his face steeled into the familiar smirking facade. “Ah, Agent Barton, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Clint’s jaw clenched under his gaze, but Loki’s eyes soon moved back to Tony. When he continued, his words were cutting, but his eyes were apologetic, and he clearly understood the need for secrecy. “And the Man of Iron. Come to visit your captor?” Loki shook his head, chuckling. “It’s a shame we had to part so soon, isn’t it? I was beginning to enjoy your company. Surely I wasn’t _so_ bad...” The side of Tony’s mouth turned up slightly. He recognized what Loki was doing, the timbre in his voice that told Tony he was performing for the cameras. He wasn’t lying, per se, but he didn’t fully mean anything he said, either. 

Loki had always preferred half-truths and wordplay to outright lies, after all.

And Tony had always been able to tell when Loki was skirting around the truth and when he actually meant what he was saying. They were one and the same, the two of them, and it meant that he could easily pick up on the little things that gave him away. The tightness around his eyes, the stiff set of his smirking mouth, the twitch of his eyebrow. He tried to let Loki know that he understood, tried to press the feeling through the bond, though he wasn’t sure how well he got it across.

Loki was continuing on. “Tell me, Agent Barton, what do you plan to do with me?”

Clint picked up the intercom. “Your big brother’s showing up tonight,” he said, his voice projected into the cage and the pathway surrounding it. Tony saw Loki’s jaw tighten. “He’ll be here to take you home in about...” Clint checked his watch, “...13 hours. Better sit tight, pretty boy.”

Clint slammed the intercom back into it’s slot and turned to Tony. “I need some air.” Which meant he needed Phil. “You can handle this?” Which meant he’d leave Tony and Loki to make goo goo eyes at each other until Thor arrived to take him home. Tony just nodded in reply. “Okay, quick rundown, because I _know_ you’ve never had this detail before.” He gestured to the microphone and a touchscreen that Tony had seen him pecking at before. “You already know the intercom, make sure you monitor the neutralizer field and that the frequency is always broadcasting at 87.” Next he moved to the mini fridge, opening it to reveal several plates wrapped in plastic, bearing what looked to be hamburgers and fries. “This is the food, for him and for you. He’s due for a meal soon, if you want to do that. The code to the door is written over there. “He pointed to the console, where Tony saw a sticky note “Just...be careful and don’t do anything stupid when you do.” Translation: don’t break him out and don’t let him stick his dick in you. He pointed at a plane black telephone. “That’s what they use to call down orders and relay information, though I doubt it’ll ring much. The plan for this one is pretty much solid. We babysit him until they take him off our hands. Think you can handle this?” Meaning did he think he could watch them take Loki away.

Tony didn’t know how to answer, so he just stayed silent.

Clint seemed to take that as answer enough. No nodded, turning to leave. “Phil will be down around 8 for his shift. You have until then for...whatever.” He waved his hand like he didn’t really want to know. He started to leave, then turned back, hesitating. “Oh, and Stark? There are agents watching the cameras on Loki at all times. We’ll be in here immediately if anything happens. And if it looks like you’ve compromised security, I won’t hesitate to shoot you.”

Loki watched Clint go, and Barton didn’t take his eyes off the god until he was out of the room, then Loki turned to Tony questioningly. “And where is Agent Barton off to?” He raised an eyebrow.

Tony leaned down to pick up the intercom. “Off to find his boyfriend, probably. Listen, you’re about due for a meal. You want me to bring one in there for you?”

He could tell by the flare of excitement that Loki got the message and Tony grinned despite himself, glad the cameras weren’t trained on the observation booth, and they rarely checked the audio feed without a good reason.

“Do whatever you want, Stark.” Loki waved him off, but the subtle want in his eyes told him that he wanted Tony in there with him, if only for the feeling of being in the same room.

Tony grabbed one of the meals, discovering that the fridge was actually a heater, which was keeping the meals at a temperature that wasn’t exactly hot, but it was better than cold burgers. He unwrapped the meal and carried it out, easily memorizing the code as he left the booth. He almost laughed at how simple the code was. 2-5-8. Right down the middle of the keypad.

He’d have to give SHIELD a talking-to about prisoner containment at some point.

Before he opened the door, he hit the intercom button on the side of the keypad. He knew they’d be watching him, so he couldn’t cut any corners here. He would be under intense scrutiny for a while. It wasn’t so much that SHIELD expected him to be under Loki’s influence (though that was a definite possibility) but more that most were expecting Tony to have some kind of mental breakdown at some point.

And he’d do his best to prove them wrong.

“Listen, Green Eyes, there’s procedure here.” He felt the wave of love flow from Loki at the use of the old nickname. “You’ve gotta be sitting on the bed before I can enter.”

“Want me on the bed, do you?” Loki asked, and Tony could tell that he was half playing the part and half joking with him personally.

“Take it how you will,” Tony replied with a practiced shrug and grin. “As long as you’re on the bed, I don’t care.”

Loki nodded and walked over the sit on the bed without complaint. His eyes never left Tony’s.

Tony punched in the code and entered, moving across the room (and technically breaking procedure by going so far into the room, but he could probably use the excuse that he had little-to-no experience in watch duty, so) to set the meal on the bench attached to the side of the room. “There you are.”

He took his eyes off of Loki for a moment and that was the moment the god took to act. Suddenly, Tony was being pressed to the wall by a tall god of mischief and his arms were pinned. He was about to let out a shout of surprise - which was mostly legitimate, not that he had a problem with Loki pinning him - and Loki’s lips caught him in a bruising kiss. Tony didn’t exactly resist, though he was certain that the position in which he was currently held would make it look like he was struggling against Loki.

The god was putting on a show, just as he was, though he was more determined to get what he wanted out of it.

Loki pulled back and his expression was feral, but his eyes were apologetic. When he spoke, his voice was too low for the microphones to pic up the sound. At least, that was what he hoped. “Are they really coming for me?”

“At midnight, yeah.” Tony’s heart clenched as he was slowly realizing that he was actually going to lose Loki again. “They’re threatening war. You or the Earth.”

“Will this be our goodbye, then? Hiding our true intentions from the cameras no-doubt hidden in this chamber?”

Tony shook his head imperceptibly. “Phil’s gonna help me later, turn off the cameras for us. We’ll have four hours.”

Loki nodded. “If it’s all the same to you, then, I think I’d like to be alone.”

“Loki-”

“Please, Tony,” Loki cut him off. “Return with Agent Coulson at the appointed hour, but give me this time to prepare. I need to think.”

Tony stared for a long, sad moment, and said, “Okay.”

And Loki released him, backing away to sit back on the bed. Tony turned to leave him alone, though he looked back at the door. “See you around, Green Eyes.”

As he exited, Clint entered the chamber, breathing hard and followed closely by four SHIELD agents with guns drawn. Tony nodded to them, telling them to stand down, which they did when Clint confirmed that the threat had passed. The men lowered their weapons and Clint nodded to Tony. “You alright, Stark?”

Tony breezed past him. “I’m done here. Finish your own shift, Barton.”

He went back to the tower, wanting nothing more than to collapse into his bed and sleep forever.

But evidently, the universe was entirely against him finding any kind of peace, and he came home to find Pepper curled up on his couch, looking exhausted and entirely cried out.

She looked up as soon as he walked in and whispered his name in disbelief, then ran across the room and flung herself into his arms. She squeezed him tightly, refusing to let go of him, and her running mascara was soaking into his shirt. 

It took Tony a moment, but he eventually gave in to the contact, holding her close as she cried in relief. 

“I was so worried,” she finally said, pulling back to wipe away her tears and look up at him. “When did he - did you...”

She was unable to finish her question, but Tony caught the meaning, realizing that no one had probably told her that he’d returned, as SHIELD wasn’t all that concerned with friends and family, and his return hadn’t even been made public yet. “Last night.”

She looked up at him, entire demeanor changing. “Last night?” she repeated, seeming angry now. “You got back last night and I wasn’t told?” She started hitting his arm, punctuating each word with a slap. “Where” slap “were” slap “you?” She drew her hand back again. “And if your answer isn’t ‘being interrogated by Fury’ then I’m slapping again.”

He hesitated, and she drew her hand back further. “I slept outside Loki’s cell.”

She didn’t slap, though he was pretty sure it was more out of confusion than forgiveness. “Loki’s cell? _You slept outside Loki’s cell?_ Why?”

He hesitated again. “A lot of things happened while he had me, Pep. I’m still trying to figure it out.”

She was quiet for a moment, but her features softened and when she spoke again, her voice was soft, slow. “Tell me.”

And Tony did. He told Pepper about the battle, about how he’d seen Loki and everything had seemed to make sense. He told her about the year following, and he could see the understanding in her eyes when everything he’d done suddenly made sense. He told her about the abduction and how everything had seemed to fall into place - and considering his history with Pepper, he probably should have left out some of the details about what ensued there, but the words were coming quickly now and he was helpless to stop them. When he started telling her about the dream, the memories, he could see the confusion in her eyes, but he just pressed forward.

He’s not sure how long he talked to, but Pepper stayed silent through all of it, taking it in without comment. When Tony finally fell silent, totally spent, she just wrapped her arms around him and held him without a word. Tony suddenly realized just how lucky he was to have her. He hadn’t exactly been good to her, and yet, here she still was, taking care of him as she always had. She didn’t ask questions, even though she obviously didn’t fully understand. That was just kind of how Pepper was with him. She’d long-since accepted that she wouldn’t understand anything, and she’d only concerned herself with the one question that really mattered. “Tony, are you safe?” 

He didn’t know what to say, so he just looked away and stayed silent.

Tony left the tower at 7:30. It only took a few minutes to get to the SHIELD base, even with suit assembly and disassembly, but the wait had gotten to be unbearable and he couldn’t bring himself to sit around any longer. 

Almost as soon as he’d entered the building, Fury appeared. “What the hell are you doing here, Stark? I thought Barton sent you home hours ago.”

“And now I’m back,” he said, assuming his usual facade of arrogance and confidence. “Here to see Loki handed over to Thor.”

Fury didn’t seem convinced. “Thor isn’t arriving for hours yet. Go home, Stark. We can handle this.”

“If it’s all the same to you,” he cut in, “I think I’ve spent enough time at home lately. No, no, I’ll stay here.”

Fury stared at him for a moment, then finally sighed and said, “Fine, just don’t get in the way. We want this handoff to go smoothly.

“I’m the king of smooth,” Tony assured him, narrowly avoiding running into a desk and another agent balancing three cups of coffee. 

He walked away before Fury could decide to throw him off the base entirely, throwing a glance over to Coulson’s office. The man was on the phone, but he felt Tony’s gaze immediately and looked over to him with a nod. He hung up a moment later and approached Tony.

“Agent Coulson,” Tony greeted him. He was pretty sure that when someone helped you cover up something that could get the both of you fired and possibly shot, that left you on first-name basis, but Tony was struggling to maintain his usual unbothered facade.

Phil nodded in reply. “Mr. Stark.” He was obviously aware of the baby agents sitting at the desks nearby, looking only slightly starstruck with Tony so close (SHIELD had just taken on some new recruits) and listening in to the two of them. “I’ll be taking the next shift watching Loki. Care to join me?”

Coulson didn’t wait for an answer, just started walking in the direction of the holding cell, and Tony trailed behind easily. 

Loki looked like a mess when they arrived. His hair was chaotic and had this cute little tuft at the back of his head and there were deep shadows under his eyes. He nodded, ever so slightly, to the two of them when they entered.

Coulson went immediately to knock on the door to the booth. It opened, revealing Barton inside. He smiled just a bit too fondly when he saw Phil, revealing the truth of that whole situation, but he quickly masked it. They’d long-since been ordered to stop, and if Fury was aware that they were still together (which he probably was), then he hadn’t said anything yet.

“Good afternoon, sir,” Clint greeted him. “Tony,” he said with a nod. “Here to take over babysitting duty?”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, we have to wait for Thor to pick him up. I should be done around one, if I’m lucky.”

“Should I pick up Chinese?”

Coulson considered. “How about Thai? You know my order.”

Clint nodded. “Consider it done.”

“Good night, Barton,” Coulson said.

“Boss.”

Tony only rolled his eyes a little when Clint left, and Coulson definitely didn’t blush in reply. But they were both focused on Loki, so neither commented. Coulson turned to the controls, hit a couple buttons, then turned back to Tony. “The cameras are off. They’ll check in in about two minutes, but they can’t get to the cameras without going in the cage, and they don’t want to do that until Loki’s out of there. Wait until they leave, then you can go in there.”

Tony nodded, but his eyes were fixed on Loki’s, and the god’s were fixed on his. Loki was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, unmoving. Tony tried to communicate some reassurance to him, though he still wasn’t certain how Loki could send those waves of feeling and emotion through the bond, and how the bond was still intact, despite the neutralizer. 

Four SHIELD agents showed up a moment later. The looked first to Loki, finding him on the ground, and then knocked on the door to the booth.

“Everything alright, sir?” an agent Tony didn’t recognize asked when the door was opened. “The cameras went out.”

Coulson shrugged. “No, they stopped working here, too. Signal error or something?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure. They told us to check in here.”

“It’s probably just a side effect of the neutralizer field. We’ve got it under control,” Tony assured him, trying not to seem _too_ eager to have the agents leave. Loki was perking up with curiosity now, though he still hadn’t moved from his place on the floor. “We’ll watch him, and we’ll let you know if we need any assistance.”

“Yes, sir,” the agent said, and then they left. Tony watched them leave, holding his breath.

“Take this,” Coulson said, handing him a small allen wrench. “There’s a bolt at the back, near a wire. Loosen it three-and-a-half turns. It disconnects the signal and makes the signal loss seem a bit more legitimate.”

“Saving your ass?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not getting put on the no-fly list because of you, Stark.” He sniffed. “Clint and I are planning a trip.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Tony grinned and plucked the wrench out of his hand, leaving the booth. He was eager to get into the cage and could feel Loki’s excitement as he walked to the door and punched in the code. The door clicked open and Tony pushed in, though he didn’t go immediately to Loki, who was still sitting in the middle of the floor. He held up one finger, telling him to wait, and he walked to the camera to loosen the screw and disconnect the signal. He gave Coulson a thumbs up when he’d done that, then turned to Loki, who was still sitting on the floor. 

Loki’s was watching him closely, eyes wide and showing a whole slew of emotions. Tony didn’t say anything as he walked over and sank to his knees in front of him. They were both silent, staring at each other. Finally, hesitantly, Tony reached out and placed his hand on Loki’s cheek. That broke the spell and Loki’s entire demeanor immediately changed. He turned his face into Tony’s hand and slumped forward to wrap his arms around his waist and pull him close. Loki buried his face in Tony’s shoulder and breathed in the familiar scent of him, the scent which hadn’t changed since the first time he’d encountered him. The scent that meant love and warmth and acceptance and the home that had disappeared the moment Tony had left it. 

Tony pressed his lips to Loki’s hair, murmuring, “I gotcha, Green Eyes.” He shifted Loki and pulled back to look at his face. “How are you doing?”

“Better, now that you’re here,” he admitted.

Tony winced. “I only left because it’s what you wanted...”

Loki shook his head. “I needed time to think, to decide how to say goodbye.”

“And what did you decide?” He sat back and pulled a reluctant Loki into his lap.

Loki clasped his hands behind Tony’s neck. “That I don’t want to say it.”

Tony chuckled, though it was clearly forced. “I suppose I can relate.”

Loki gave him a small, sad smile. “I don’t know where to start, if I’m being honest.”

Tony hesitated, then gestured to the bed, which was small, sheets still pulled up and tucked in neatly, unused since Loki had risen from the sedation. “How about we curl up and you can take your time, tell me everything.”

Loki nodded, rising and pulling Tony up with him and guiding him over to the bed. They laid down facing each other, legs twined together and hands clasped between them, foreheads resting against each other. Tony pressed in to kiss him softly. Loki kept his eyes closed when Tony pulled back, and Tony just watched him, taking in each small detail of his features, committing it all to memory. He’d need to save as much as he could, while he still had the chance.

And somehow, it was that thought that had it all welling up inside him, threatening to spill over. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to remain in control, and his hand came up to stroke Loki’s cheek, thumb tracing lightly over his cheekbone. The god’s eyes opened when he felt the hand there, meeting Tony’s gaze sadly.

“I love you, Loki,” he murmured. Loki already knew, but he needed to say it, to feel the words on his lips and know the true weight of them. He loved Loki, and his entire being thrummed with the feeling. He loved Loki, and now, so soon, Loki was being taken from him.

This was his last chance to say it all, and he’d be damned if he was going to pass it up.

Loki nodded, ever so slightly. “And I love you, Tony, as I have since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

That wasn’t right, not at all. “No, I mean...” Tony trailed off, unsure of exactly how to say it. Unsure how to voice the doubt that had been nagging at him, begging for his attention, even as he refused to give it the credence of acknowledgment. “I mean, that Tony loved you, the first one, but...so does this one. I’m not him, Loki. I’m me. But it doesn’t make it any less true. _I love you._ ”

Loki paused, taking in his words, and nodded, pressing his lips to Tony’s forehead to murmur, “I know you’re not him. But Tony Stark, I have loved every incarnation you’ve had since the beginning of time. I know you’re not entirely him, but it makes no difference. You’re Tony. A different Tony, yes, but still mine. And I love you still.”

And, yup, that finally threw Tony over the edge. He pulled Loki in tight and buried his face in Loki’s shoulder, trying to hide the tears, though he knew Loki could feel him shaking. “I don’t want you to go,” he said, voice barely audible. “You’re not supposed to leave, you’re supposed to stay here, with me.”

Loki ran a hand through Tony’s hair, moving back to look him in the eyes, trying to lighten the mood. “I wish I could. Hmm, it seems you’ve made something of an honest man of me. In the past, I’d have put my freedom above the wellbeing of Midgard, easily. Now look at me, turning myself in without resistance.”

“It’s bullshit,” Tony said angrily. “They promised you freedom. We could have had so much more time, but SHIELD decided to pull that crap.” He supposed he shouldn’t be all that surprised. It wasn’t the first time he’d known SHIELD to lie in order to get what they wanted, and maybe he should be flattered that they were willing to go to any length at all to retrieve him, but somehow, he found it difficult to be grateful to those who had lied and cheated their way into sending Loki straight back to Asgard, and away from Tony.

“I’m simply receiving what I deserve,” Loki said after a long moment. And he meant it. He could feel it within every inch of him, radiating through the bond, which reminded him...

“How can I even still feel all of this? Your magic is blocked, shouldn’t it block the bond?”

Loki chuckled slightly and shook his head. “Banner’s device simply mutes my power. But the bond between us, it doesn’t come from my power, or yours. Imagine it as a single shared soul. There’s not a device you or Banner could create that could block it.”

Tony nodded, filing that away, and then forced himself to ask the question he was avoiding. “What are they going to do to you?” he asked, almost unsure that he wanted to know the answer.

Loki tried to shrug it off, but Tony could tell from the set of his shoulders, the weariness in his eyes, and the apprehension coiling tight within his chest that his punishment wasn’t something to be taken lightly. “I’ll be locked up again. They’ll do a better job of restraining me this time. Thor was allowed to visit me before... I doubt I’ll be allowed the luxury of visitors, even royalty. I won’t escape again.”

“And what, that’ll last until you die?” Tony was horrified. He’d long-since received the full story on Thor’s banishment. His act of war and rebellion had landed him on Earth, until Odin decided he’d made up for his misdeeds. And Loki’s wound up with him tossed in a cell to whither away and die? How did that track?

Loki shrugged again, and Tony could see the defeat setting in. “I suppose Thor could pardon me when he’s king.”

Tony wanted to laugh at how straightforward he was about that. “No love lost between you and your father, then.”

Loki’s jaw clenched. “He killed you, Tony, or had you forgotten? He stole me from my home when I was an infant. He raised me and lied to me every day of my life. I’ll not call that man father.”

Tony’s eyebrows pulled together. “What are you talking about?”

Loki let out a self-deprecating laugh and Tony had the mental image of a wolf growling, hackles rising. “I told you many things happened in your absence. Namely, I learned the truth of my parentage. I’m the son of Laufey, the son of the enemy. I’m a creature of evil, nothing more.”

Tony shook his head and kissed him hard, nearly cutting him off. “That’s not true,” he growled. “You’re not a creature of evil. I know you, and you _aren’t evil._ You aren’t an Aesir, okay, but you aren’t a jotunn either. You’re Loki, okay? No more and no less. Just Loki.”

Loki was quiet for a moment, then nodded, deflating. “I like that.” He had the barest hint of a smile on his lips, but it soon faded.

Something had been bothering Tony, something he needed to know. “Why did you wait so long to find me? Or did you not know I was here?”

Loki shook his head. “I knew the instant you were reborn. I felt it, right here.” He placed his hand over his heart. “It felt like...”

“Like some of the emptiness was gone?” Tony offered.

Loki nodded, pressing his forehead to Tony’s and closing his eyes. “I feel it every time. I was waiting for you to be ready.” His voice caught and he bit his lower lip. “I thought we were going to be together forever, you and me for all of eternity. I suppose... I suppose in a way, I was right.”

Tony shook his head sternly. “You listen to me, Green Eyes. I won’t let them take you. I’ll break you out, we’ll fight our way out if we have to! SHIELD be damned, they’re not taking you back.”

Loki shook his head right back, resignation and regret playing across his features. “I’m not innocent by any stretch of the word, love. Justice must be served for those I’ve wronged.”

“And what about me?” Tony insisted. “Am I just supposed to go back? My life is in shreds as it is. I was barely holding on before, and I really don’t think I can go back to that again.”

Loki growled at him. “No, you will go on, Stark. You’ll continue, and you’ll thrive.”

“Why should I?” He’d spent the better part of a year holed up in his lab because he’d seen Loki during the battle. Pepper and Bruce’s coordinated efforts hadn’t been able to get him out of the lab for more than a few hours at a time (and he’d outright refused since that particularly awkward Welcome Back party for Coulson which had wound up with everyone shifting awkwardly and pretending Phil and Clint weren’t drunkenly making out on the couch).

“Because I say you will.” Loki’s word were firm. “You’ll continue, you’ll live and thrive, and know that I’m better off knowing that you’re continuing with your life, as if I never destroyed it.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“But you will.” His smile was small and sad. “You’ll do it for me.”

He shook his head adamantly. “I won’t let them take you.”

“This is your life!” he insisted. “I’ll not take everything from you, let you give up everything for me. If I don’t go with them, then the Earth is forfeit, and you’ll lose everyone and everything. I have enough weight on my shoulders, I can’t take any more. I won’t have you hate me because I brought about the end of your world, of everyone and everything you know. I’ll not put myself above them for you.”

The words stung, even if Tony knew Loki was being far more logical than he was. “So where does that leave us?”

Loki sighed. “It leaves us here, embracing as we say our final goodbyes and preparing for the end.”

Tony squeezed him slightly tighter with one arm, while the other hand came up to stroke his cheek. “And if I refuse to let you go? They wouldn’t harm their precious Iron Man...”

Loki shook his head. “Don’t test that theory, and please don’t put yourself in danger for me. Tony, the choice is me or all of Midgard. Can you honestly tell me that I’m the right one?”

He stared at Loki, long and hard, mouth opening and closing repeatedly, then closed his eyes. “No, I can’t. But dammit, I can’t just give up, either. I won’t.”

“Tony, there’s no time for planning or plotting or whatever it is that you do to bring your ideas to fruition. We have less than three hours left before we’re separated for who knows how long.” He turned his face to press a kiss to the center of Tony’s palm. “Please don’t waste what precious little time we have left.”

His features softened and he nodded, defeated. “I’m sorry, Green Eyes.” He looked at Loki sadly, then pressed in to kiss him. The kiss was desperate and needy, but it wasn’t asking for anything. Tony was resigned to both of their fates. He held Loki close, memorizing the feel of him pressed against the full length of his body, the taste of his lips and his tongue and their tears mingling together as they held each other until they heard Coulson opening the door, and his voice echoing through the cage, saying, “Okay, they’ll be here any minute. I’m sorry, but time’s up.”

Tony looked at Loki, tears brimming over him. He squeezed Loki again, tight enough to hurt anyone who wasn’t an immortal god, kissed him hard, and then, before he could talk himself into doing something Loki would hate him for, he released Loki, stood, and walked out of the cage, allowing Coulson to lock it behind him. 

Tony stood outside the cage, hand pressed to the glass, but Loki didn’t look at him. He could see the form of Loki, curled in on himself, laying on his side with his back facing Tony. And if he looked close enough, he could see the sobs shaking his body, ever so slightly. He watched him closely, wishing he could see Loki’s face.

Somewhere in there, he noticed Coulson hitting a few buttons on the control pad, and then he noticed a fog rolling through the cage, licking up against the glass and floating across the floor. 

“Coulson,” he said, eyes not leaving the fog. “What the hell is that?”

“Knockout gas,” he said. “To transport him.”

“You tranq’ed him?!” he demanded, turning to him. “He was gonna go willingly!”

“Fury insisted. He didn’t want Loki breaking out during transport. He wants this exchange to go as smoothly as possible.”

“He was gonna go willingly!” Tony repeated, shouting now, and then he sank to the floor, pulling his knees up and covering his face as everything finally set in on him, weighing down on him heavily. When he spoke again, his voice was small and defeated. “He was gonna go willingly.”

Phil opened his mouth to say something, but the door opened just then, and in strode Thor, in full battle armor, followed by Clint and two other SHIELD agents Tony didn’t recognize. 

“Son of Coul,” Thor greeted him with a nod, voice booming across the quiet chamber, but it didn’t seem to affect him much. His eyes fell on Tony, taking in the crumpled sight of him. “Tony Stark,” he said, voice falling quieter. He turned back to Coulson. “I see that my brother has been sedated, as we discussed. Is it safe to enter the chamber?”

Coulson hit a few buttons on the control pad, and Tony immediately saw the gas begin to thin. “It will be in about thirty seconds.”

“Thank you,” Thor murmured, gazing steadfastly at Loki. “I must say, it’s something of a relief to have him back... But at the same time, I don’t envy him what the Allfather may do to him for this latest act of defiance. However, I fear that it’s necessary. For the safety of those of all the Nine Realms. And perhaps, with time, I may have my brother back...”

Tony flinched as he heard the words. He wished he could stand up and shout that Loki wouldn’t be a problem anymore, that he would take responsibility for all of it. That Loki wouldn’t hurt another soul. He wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do more than look on sadly. It wouldn’t do any good, he knew. It’d just get him locked up and examined for weeks until Fury finally decided that he wasn’t under Loki’s mind control, and he was just an insubordinate operative, or whatever he would decide to call him that day.

He doubted Fury would use the word _traitor,_ but hey, you never know.

There were two small beeps, and Coulson said, “Okay, it’s safe to enter now.” He opened the door and stepped back to allow Thor to enter. His eyes fell on Tony, and he nodded apologetically, but Tony just shook his head. He still had to deal with what had happened with Bruce. He wasn’t going to push everyone away because of this. Loki wanted him to live. He couldn’t exactly do that without those closest to him.

Tony watched closely as Thor strode into the cage and bent to pick up Loki. He held Loki gently, affectionately, adjusting him into a more comfortable position, even though Loki was unconscious.

When Thor reemerged, he nodded to Coulson. “I’ll take him back to Asgard now, I hope he doesn’t take his recapture too harshly.” Tony wanted to laugh at that. How was Loki supposed to take it? Was he supposed to thank him for locking him up? Be thankful that Odin cared enough to lock him up for god knows how long?

Tony let out a derisive snort and Thor looked over at him. Tony held his gaze and for a moment, no one said anything, then Thor turned to him. “Tony, we must speak upon my return. I’m not sure when it will be, but we have a great many things to discuss.”

Tony didn’t say anything, just looked away as Thor carried Loki out of the room and out of Tony’s life. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there. No one bothered him, even as maintenance came in to inspect the camera and remove the bedding. 

It was light out when he finally came out of the chamber, and the clock on his phone told him that it was 8am. He’d missed seventeen texts from Pepper and Bruce. He marked them all as read without opening them and trudged out of the chamber, feeling wholly empty. He could still feel the bond there, but Loki was so far away, he couldn’t feel anything from it. 

He didn’t even make it down the first hallway before Fury appeared in front of him. “Mr. Stark, we need to talk.”

He tried to walk around him, but Fury just sidestepped with him, remaining in his path. Tony stopped and met Fury’s eye. “Nick, just this once, can we...not?”

“You know the drill, Stark, and you know that isn’t an acceptable answer. The cameras were turned off with Coulson’s passcode, then you disappeared from the camera in the booth for the rest of the night. Some things just aren’t quite adding up.”

Tony gave up on getting past Fury and turned around, walking in the other direction. “Ask Coulson, he knows the story.” He waved back, but didn’t turn to look.

Fury didn’t stop him. 

Tony stayed in his lab for a week. He’d moved a blanket and pillow down there. He barely ate the food Pepper brought to him, refused to leave, wouldn’t see anyone either.  At first, she tried to help. Tried to get him out of the lab. But Tony steadfastly refused, sitting down and crossing his arms (a bit more petulantly than he’d like to admit) and after a week, she gave up on that, oping to focus on making sure he was eating and sleeping and consuming something _other_ than scotch. 

He refused to see anyone, either. Clint showed up, but Tony wouldn’t leave the lab to even speak to him. Steve showed up, too. Tony wasn’t quite sure how much he actually knew about the situation with Loki. He supposed he deserved to know, he was the team leader and needed to know if there was anything that could make a member a potential risk, but he figured Coulson would tell him about it if he felt he needed to know. Coulson wouldn’t let Tony do anything to compromise the safety of his boyfriend, even if he’d promised to keep it hush hush. 

He threw himself into his work, testing out new uses for the Iron Man suit, fabricating new modifications, and drawing up new designs. He even started on a little pet project for Pepper, though he wasn’t sure if he’d ever actually get around to finishing it and giving it to her.

He pretty much cut himself off from the world. He turned on the news exactly one time. He came in right in the middle of the reporters talking about him, discussing his abduction, rescue (because that’s what they’d taken to calling it, apparently), and his decided absence since the whole ordeal. The picture of him at the press conference, eyes wide as Loki clamped his hand over his mouth and fixed the camera with a chilling glare, was displayed behind the reporters. He turned it off when they moved to speculation about exactly what he’d been about to announce before a certain God of Mischief had so rudely interrupted. 

He was struggling to reattach the leg to one of the suits when Bruce showed up. He didn’t hear the man enter over his own muttering and the whir of the drill he was using in an attempt to loosen one of the bolts (a pointless venture, he’d specifically designed it not to come free, but he was nothing if not stubborn).

Banner looked around the place, taking in the rumpled pillow and blanket on the ratty couch in the corner, the dirty dishes piled on the desk, and the holo-tables had at least four separate projects open, each showing something different, though he didn’t look for long enough to glean any specific details.

“Tony?” Bruce said when it became apparent that the engineer wasn’t aware of his presence.

Tony started and turned to him. “Bruce? How’d you get in here? Why didn’t Jarvis stop you?”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “For the last time, Tony, you gave me full access to your lab. Jarvis didn’t stop me because you’ve said I’m allowed to be here.”

Tony thought back. “Oh yeah,” he said with a guilty grin. “Sorry, I’ve had other things on my mind.”

Bruce became aware of the slight slur to Tony’s words and noticed the glass of scotch behind the man, placed precariously hanging over the edge of the table, with the half-empty bottle not far away. “Tony, are you drunk?”

He shook his head. “Not yet.” He took another drink to punctuate his words, grinning.

“You need to get out of the lab,” Bruce told him, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again and give the man the attentions he sought. “It’s not healthy to stay cooped up in here.”

“Worried about me, Brucey?”

“Of course I am. It’s been two weeks since anyone has seen you, aside from Pepper. Selvig and I have been a bit tied up, so I haven’t been able to get down here sooner, but if I’d known it was this bad, I would have been here a week ago.”

“It’s not that bad,” Tony mumbled, shifting his weight awkwardly. 

“Tony, when I walked in, you were talking to yourself and trying to attach that leg backwards.”

Tony looked and realized that he was right.

Son of a bitch.

He sighed. “What do you want, Bruce? Are you just here to get me out of the lab? Because Pepper’s already tried.”

He ignored Tony’s questions. “What happened to you, Tony? Medical said you were in perfect condition when you got back. And what was up with you freaking out at me the other day?” Tony shook his head, trying to brush him off. “No, Tony, I’m not giving up on this. You can’t just shut everyone out. I want to know. I want to help.”

Tony slammed his hands down on the table with an echoing bang, immediately silencing Bruce, and let out a bitter laugh. “Sorry, Bruce, but you can’t help me. No one can, in fact. I’m glad you’re here to offer it, but you can’t help me much at all. There’s nothing you can do, and I’m not just gonna go back to how it was before...”

“Before the invasion? Because that’s when this crap started, wasn’t it?” Tony’s jaw clenched but he didn’t reply. “So, what, then? Are you just going to stay cooped up here forever?” Tony took a drink of scotch, still refusing to answer. Bruce just nodded sadly, turning to leave, then looked back. “I actually did come here for a reason. Thor’s here, says he wants to talk to you.” Tony stared at the now-empty glass in his hands. “He says he won’t leave until he speaks to you. Please, Tony? Go back to moping if you want, but just talk to him.”

Tony continued staring at the glass for a long moment, trying to figure out what Thor could _possibly_ have to say to him, then finally nodded. “Let me finish up here, then I’ll be right up.” Bruce smiled and nodded, turning to leave again. “Oh, Bruce?” He stopped again. “Are we good?”

Bruce smiled, obviously understanding what Tony was doing. It was hard for Tony to actually apologize, Bruce knew that, and Tony going out of his way to check that was the equivalent of a long, eloquent apology from a lesser man. He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, Tony, we’re good.”

Tony grinned at him and Bruce left, leaving him in his lab, alone, silently steeling himself for the unwanted confrontation to come. He reattached the leg (properly this time) while he tried to figure out exactly why Thor was so intent on talking to him. He was another fifteen minutes in his lab before he finally decided that he couldn’t hide any longer, and with a long-suffering sigh, he left his lab and ascended the stairs up into his private living room.

Thor was there, as expected, sitting on the couch, looking dejected, guilty, and entirely alone. Tony wasn’t sure if Loki was the cause of any of those emotions, but a guy could hope, right?

“Thor,” he said, by way of greeting the god of thunder. 

Thor nodded back. “Tony. I must speak with you.”

“I gathered that much,” he replied dryly. “What do you need to talk to me about? Or is this just a social call?”

“It’s about my brother.” He didn’t miss the tensing of Tony’s jaw in response to his words. “You are, after all, the same Tony who courted my brother so many years ago, are you not?” Tony held his head high. “I thought so. I wasn’t entirely certain, as my brother has always been able to know you immediately, while I am left to more rudimentary guesswork. But when he took you that day, I knew.”

“Is that why you’re here, then? Telling me you know who I am? Then thanks for the visit, buddy, so glad you could stop by and see how you’ve reduced me to a hermit. Come back soon!” He turned, ready to go back to work, trying to keep his mind busy to prevent him breaking down entirely, but Thor’s voice stopped him. 

“I never meant to cause you pain, my friend.”

Tony placed his hand on the doorframe in front of him, squeezing hard enough to feel the pointed metal edge dig into his palm. “Well, it’s too late for that now, isn’t it? Jarvis, will you see him out?” He didn’t give Thor a chance to say anything more, or wait for Jarvis to reply, just descended the stairs back into his lab. He braced himself against the table, gripping the edge hard enough to turn his knuckles white. 

His eyes fell on the bottle of scotch, and without fully making the decision, he grabbed it and threw it at the closest wall, watching, unfeeling, as it collided and exploded with a loud clatter. Then he turned and punched the hard metal table, calling out in pain as he felt several bones in his hand snap. He clenched his teeth as he looked at the mangled appendage, knowing that he should probably get it checked out (and knowing that Bruce could probably do it for him, if he was willing to tuck his tail between his legs and go up and ask for help). But that could wait. For the moment, he just stood there, feeling the pain as his heartbeat throbbed in his hand.

He’d been steadfastly avoiding feeling anything for two weeks, and to feel something now, even the pain of fractured bones, it was like a breath of cold air in the winter. It was refreshing, sharp and new, and not entirely pleasant or unpleasant. It was just something new.

Eventually, he went to the elevator, telling Jarvis to take him wherever Bruce was in the tower.

Bruce didn’t ask how his hand got broken as he put the splint on his broken knuckle. And Tony didn’t tell him either.

* * *

Loki was back to the same situation he’d been in before. Curled up on the dirty stone floor, wishing he could just fall asleep and fade away, never wake up again. The bond was dulled, still present, though he hadn’t felt the slightest twinge from it since he’d returned to the realm of the gods.

He hadn’t even seen Odin this time around. The Allfather hadn’t deemed his presence enough to leave the palace. He hadn’t seen Thor, either, though he was fairly certain that was more Odin’s doing than his brother’s. 

The last thing he remembered was the cage filling with some kind of acrid white smoke, and suddenly he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. He awoke in a different cage, on a cold floor without any blankets, just the standard issue clothing for SHIELD prisoners, loose fitting white shirt and pants, which were now dirtied and hardly recognizable as the clean garments they’d started as. 

They didn’t even feed him this time, but he could feel the magic around him, sustaining him, healing him when he attempted to resume his previous form of timekeeping, and keeping his own power at bay. It was much more powerful this time. No doubt, they had several sorcerers providing for the huge energy draw the spell possessed while they searched for a better solution. 

Loki settled in for the tedium that had plagued him in his previous stay in the cell. He didn’t see anyone, and he’d been so long without someone to talk to, his voice was hoarse with disuse. Without the marks marring his stomach, he had no way of knowing how long he’d been in the cell. He didn’t think it’d been any more than a couple weeks, but he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t measure the time by meals or sunsets. There was just the monotony of the cell and the same set of bricks and same level of torchlight.

He’d taken to settling into lulls, coming back to himself after an unknown amount of time to find the same thing he’d found before. 

That was the state he was in when he became aware of a voice, for the first time in Odin-knew how long. It took him a moment to fully process what he was hearing. He lifted his head (feeling his neck pop after he’d been so long without movement) and looked to the door. Slowly, the heavy door creaked open. Loki squinted against the bright light, seeing the silhouette of a large, muscular figure outlined against the golden light of the lanterns that lined the stone hallways. 

“Come, brother,” a voice boomed into the cell. It took him a moment, but he recognized the voice.

“Thor?” he tried to say, though his voice rasped harshly.

“Yes, Loki,” Thor replied, walking over to kneel beside him. “I’m taking you out of here.”

He laughed - or, tried to, but he just wound up coughing from the dryness in his throat. “Why in the Nine would Odin allow that? Or have you finally stood up to the Allfather?”

“Never mind my methods,” he said. Loki expected to hear a tone of annoyance in his voice, but he found it absent. There was just sadness, relief, and concern. “Let’s go, I’d rather us depart before he changes his mind.”

“Changes his... Thor, what have you done?” When Loki looks into his brother’s eyes, he sees a burning fire of victory there.

“You’re to be released into my care, in hopes that I can rehabilitate you.”

“And what does that mean?” There was the beginnings of hope beginning to bloom in his chest. He didn’t want to think he’d get off this easily, didn’t want to believe that he’d have anything but further punishment, but the look Thor was giving him then...

“I’m taking you back to Midgard. I’ll continue my time with the Avengers, and you’ll accompany me as my charge, so that I can keep you close at hand. And I’m sure Tony would appreciate your presence as well. Now, come, let’s get you on your feet.”

He wrapped an arm around Loki, supporting him as he helped him to stand for the first time in a long time. Once he had his footing, he moved forward to embrace his brother. “Thank you, Thor.” He bit his lip. “After the things I’ve done, the things I’ve said...”

“It is forgotten, brother,” Thor assured him, and Loki just nodded in apology and thanks.

“Now, Heimdall is waiting for us. Let’s get you out of here.’

Loki limped down the hall, supported by his brother, and though he knew there were still hardships to come, he knew he’d be okay. He’d have Tony, he’d have Thor (and honestly, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d considered that to be a good thing, but perhaps the future could prove wrong what the past had continually insisted?)

For the first time since that day so long ago, Loki was optimistic.

And it felt good.

* * *

Tony wasn’t sober.

He wasn’t drunk, either, there wasn’t enough alcohol in the lab for that, but that sure as hell didn’t mean he was sober.

He was still barricaded in his lab a week after the encounter with Thor. He was staring at the empty scotch bottle, cursing it for being the last one and trying to figure out if there was a way he could create a bottle that would never run out. Pepper and Bruce seemed to have gone on some kind of scavenger hunt through the tower (no doubt aided by Jarvis) and gotten rid of all of the alcohol. He was just beginning to consider whether or not it’d be easier to just go out and buy some of the freaking stuff, when Jarvis said, _“Sir, you have visitors.”_

“Get rid of them,” he said without a second thought. He didn’t need to see anyone. The last person he’d seen was Thor (because Pepper hadn’t dropped by since, probably trying to starve him out of the lab, but little did she know that he crept out and raided the communal fridge and pantry on the fourth floor at night. He’d almost been discovered by Bruce the night before, but he’d sneaked out of sight just in time to avoid the encounter, and the guy had just mumbled something about how Clint was losing his stealthy edge).

_“Actually, I think you want to take a look for yourself.”_

Tony sighed and looked up at the ceiling, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be right up, Jarvis.” 

_“Very good sir.”_

He wasn’t sure who would get this reaction from Jarvis, but he figured that anyone who gave the AI pause was probably worth his time.

Probably.

If anything, he was just curious, and after pouring over every single one of his projects for three weeks, he was getting a bit bored.

Though, there was also that bottle project. That promised to be interesting and probably time consuming, and maybe he should just go and work on that now...

But it was too late. He was ascending the stairs to the living room. He opened the door, and stopped. Eyed widened.

“Loki.”

Because he was there. Thor was standing in the middle of the room, big and imposing as ever, a broad, shining grin on his face, and beside him, looking smaller and wearier than ever, was Loki. He was dirty. His face was smudged with dirt, his hair was greasy and knotted, and there were dark shadows under his eyes. He was still wearing the same SHIELD-issue white jumpsuit, which was now some kind of grey at best and some kind of red-brown that Tony didn’t even want to consider at worst. And it was in tatters, revealing the emaciated protrusion of Loki’s ribs and hips beneath the threadbare fabric.

But he was there, and he was looking at him with disbelieving eyes, and before he could even reply, Tony was rushing across the room and embracing him and holding him as tightly as he could and kissing him hard, because it was _Loki_ and he was _there_ and he couldn’t fucking believe that he had him back in his arms, even if he didn’t know how long it would last. He just felt so fucking _good_ there.

He finally pulled back when he was forced to breathe, but he didn’t loosen his hold on Loki in the slightest. He was pretty sure he was actually crying, but then so was Loki, and he really didn’t care, because he had Loki in his arms, and even through the numbness of the alcohol, he could feel the bond thrumming strong with love and adoration. 

He lifted a hand to stroke Loki’s cheek and wipe away the tear that had paused just below his eye, even more brilliant and beautiful than he’d remembered them. “I missed you, Green Eyes.”

Loki turned his face into the touch and kissed his palm, finally speaking. “I missed you, too, Tony.” Tony wanted to ask how, to ask why, but he couldn’t quite speak, was almost afraid to. Evidently, Loki saw the question in his eyes, because he said, “It was Thor. He convinced Odin to let me out. Conditionally, of course, but I’ll be here, with you.” The smile he gave Tony was so brilliant, so full of love, that Tony couldn’t even find anything to say in reply, couldn’t come up with anything to fully express his happiness, he just kissed Loki again, figuring he got the message. 

Thor left soon after, mumbling something about giving them their time and space, and Loki just nodded in agreement. Tony didn’t even notice, too focused on Loki. He was stroking a thumb along Loki’s cheekbone, trying to comprehend that he was actually there. Loki’s hand wound it’s way down, seeking Tony’s other hand, only to encounter a bandage and a finger splint.

“Darling, what in the Nine did you do to your hand?”

Tony chuckled. “Let’s just say I really can’t cope when you’re not around.”

Eventually, they left the living room, moving to the bedroom, and the bathroom. Tony suggested that they get Loki cleaned off (because he really was filthy) and Loki had just nodded in agreement, looking like that was the best suggestion in the world. 

Tony took great care in scrubbing ever inch of Loki, peeling back the layers of grime to rediscover the beautiful ivory skin. His lips rarely left Loki, though where exactly they were depended on the time. They took their time, relearning each other, lazily enjoying the feeling of being together again. 

His hair was the worst of it, and Tony actually found himself laughing as he worked out some of the larger knots. Loki smiled back, though he was just looking at Tony, taking in the sight of him. Tony noticed and grinned, kissing the smile right off of him.

They got out eventually, of course. Loki’s eyes were drooping, and Tony had no clue how much sleep he’d gotten in the three weeks they’d been apart.

And the fact that it was only three weeks was ridiculous, because it felt more like three lifetimes than three weeks. So he just made up for it by pressing closer and feeling Loki along every inch of him.

Tony was trying to take care of Loki, who was pretty much dead on his feet by the time they got out of the shower. He figured that drying him off was probably overdoing it, but Loki didn’t complain, so he figured he was in the clear.

They fell into bed together easily, wrapping around each other and holding on for dear life. The positioning wasn’t all that comfortable, if Tony was being honest, but it was as close as they could possibly get, and neither was willing to sacrifice those few inches in exchange for a bit more comfort. 

Loki fell asleep quickly, burying his face in Tony’s neck and shoulder, and Tony buried his own face in Loki’s hair, allowing himself to fully breathe for the first time since SHIELD had broken down the door to that flat and pulled Loki right out of his life.

Every inch of him sizzled with the disbelief of having Loki in his arms, so much that it took a while before he could fall asleep, but when he finally did, lulled by the soft sound of Loki breathing in and out and the soft waves of contentment that meant Loki was dreaming, he swore it was the best sleep he had in his entire life, and when Loki was still there the next morning, clutching him close and drooling slightly on the pillow, Tony could have cried with happiness.

Rather, he just snuggled in, waking Loki enough to reposition himself a bit more comfortably beside Tony. Tony was hungry, and figured Loki probably was, too, but the god looked so completely wrecked beside him, mouth slightly open, hair thrown in all directions after he’d fallen asleep with it still wet, and Tony loved how peaceful he looked in sleep. He decided to just lay his head back down and fall back asleep. He’d make them eggs or something later. For now, Loki could sleep, because he obviously needed it, and Tony would be there when he woke up, just like he always would, for as long as he was able.

As he fell back into unconsciousness, something occurred to him, something that resounded within his being.

Laying there with Loki, it felt so right. He’d give literally anything and everything to wake every morning for the rest of his life to the sight of his beautiful god beside him.

But as he tightened his arms around Loki’s thin frame, he knew he wouldn’t have to give much at all.

Because Loki was his, now and forever.

And sure, they had some trials coming, like SHIELD questioning him and his loyalties, like the press swarming them whenever they left to get the latest scoop on Tony’s recent stunts and his relationship with the God of Mischief, and probably a super villain or two, but they could face them. 

They’d have each other.

And that was really all that mattered.

* * *

They had sixty good years together, the two of them. 

They fell into an easy rhythm of life together. Loki would often storm down into Tony’s lab and drag him out by the shirt, saying that he’d tie Tony to the bed and keep him as his pet if he kept ignoring him like this. It was easily decided that Loki should be the one who cooks, as Tony was only able to make eggs, and even that claim was a bit of a stretch. And while Tony preferred to sleep in as much as he could, Loki was up at sunrise every morning, and he was usually pestering Tony about getting up, as well.

Tony never had received an explanation for the wolf figurine that had been in the flat when Loki had abducted him. He asked one time, and he’d only gotten a smirk in reply. He’d discovered what novel it was guarding, though. _Alice in Wonderland._ Somehow, it seemed to fit. 

Of course, not all of it was good. Living was never all that smooth when you put together two of the universe’s top divas, but they made it work. No matter how bad it got, it was always each other they came home to, always each other they curled up to when it got cold at night or when the nightmares threatened to chase away the tentative peace.

They had their share of fights, of course. Some even ended in one or the other storming out, amid shouts and insults that they both knew they’d regret later.

The worst was about four years after Loki’s return. The god hadn’t exactly appreciated how flirtatious Tony had been with the woman who’d interviewed him. Tony had responded that it was just his public image, waving him off and telling him that it didn’t mean anything. Loki had insisted that Tony was taken now. He didn’t need that image anymore. Then there’d been shouting and insults, and it’d resulted in Tony getting kicked out of his own freaking tower!

And of course, Doom had picked _that freaking moment_ to attack, requiring a full assembly of the Avengers, which meant that Tony had to go be a hero and save people and stuff, rather than sulk in a bar or something until sufficient time had passed that he could return to the tower and act contrite. 

And of _course_ , that was the mission where a Doombot got the better of him. One bad blow to the head had left him unconscious, probably with some brain damage by the time they got him to the hospital. Loki had shown up quickly, healing him with a single touch. Tony awoke moments later and the first things Loki did was call him an idiot and kiss him until he saw stars. 

The sex they’d had that night hadn’t so much been “makeup sex” as “don’t you dare fucking die on me” sex.

Tony wasn’t complaining.

They had a whole life together, and everything that came with it. They finally exchanged rings after about six years, more because Tony wanted to do it than anything. Loki said that Tony was already his, so he didn’t seen any point in “making it official,” but Tony had been so insistent that Loki finally agreed. 

So they lived together and loved together and Tony began to grow older, but Loki stayed with him through it. Tony grew older, Loki stayed his same, young self (though later, Tony swore he could see some slight differences. Loki did age, after all, just extremely slowly) but the love for Tony never left his eyes. Tony could feel it always, wrapping around him, all warmth and safety, and lulling him to sleep at night.

That didn’t stop him from doubting, though. He’d actually offered Loki an out after he turned 65. He’d told Loki that he could go, if he wanted. Tony wouldn’t hold it against him. Loki didn’t have to stay with him when he got old and decrepit and didn’t even know his own name anymore. 

And Loki...he’d actually looked angry. He backed Tony against a wall, looking more feral than Tony had seen him since the invasion, and he’d sworn up and down that he wouldn’t be leaving Tony anytime soon, so he’d better just accept that now. 

And he made good on that. He stayed with Tony until the end, and on his last night, when he was thinking back on his life and his choices, all he saw was Loki’s face, sharp and beautiful as the first day he’d seen it, and Loki’s eyes, emerald and unchanging in the love they held for him.

Tony knew it was the end of the road. He could feel it in his bones. He was an old man now. It’d been a long time since he’d been an Avenger, since he’d been able to spend days in the lab working on meaningless projects. His life had been full, and it’d been longer than most, thanks to Loki. He’d seen friends live and die, brilliant flames all of them, snuffed out long before any of them deserved it.

It was just him, now. A remnant from the first age of heroes.

Loki pulled him closer, pressing taut lips to his forehead and murmuring small things, that he loved him, that he would wait for him, that he would find him again. That he wouldn’t wait, next time. He wouldn’t let anything come between them again.

And Tony, he shook his head. “Stop talking, Green Eyes,” he murmured, voice weak and fading fast. He tried to squeeze him tighter, but his arthritic joints wouldn’t really allow for much. “I just want to feel you here.”

It was a rare occurrence, but Loki actually did what Tony said for once. He fell silent, arms wrapped around Tony, both of them listening to the rhythm of Tony’s failing heart. It had been so abused throughout his life, and it was finally giving out.

Tony pulled back to look at his face. “It was a good run, yeah?”

Loki could feel a lump rising in his throat, threatening to cut off his words. He placed a hand on Tony’s cheek and looked at him seriously. “The best,” he promised.

He nodded. It was getting more and more difficult to move, to speak. “I love you, Loki,” he murmured, struggling to keep the other in view.

“I love you, too, Tony,” he whispered.

The light was fading from Tony’s eyes, his heart was slowing dangerously.

The last thing Tony saw was Loki’s eyes, bright green and brimming with tears.

Loki closed his eyes and finally let the tears spill over, holding Tony’s still-warm body close and crying, knowing that the one he loved was gone, and he was back to waiting, searching.

He’d loved Tony for thousands of years, since the first moment he’d laid eyes on him, back when they were younger and all that mattered was being together and getting around their fathers.

Loki thought back on all the pain Tony had brought him. All the time spent waiting, loathing himself, cursing Odin for destroying his happiness, dooming him to a life of searching endlessly a the happiness that was only fleeting.

Loki thought back on all of it, and he knew. Because what else could he do?

He’d wait again.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was that! There are a lot of comments I want to make, a lot of things I'd like to mention and talk about and a lot of stories I'd like to tell, but as I don't have specific chapters, I never got the chance to tell them in author's notes. Even so, I'm glad I wrote this the way I did. It gave me so much more freedom, and let me write it for me, rather than for readers.
> 
> There are a few people I'd like to thank. Actually, pretty much just one. I'd like to thank Iza, aka multi-fandom-mess on tumblr. She supported me (and yelled at me to get my ass in gear on more than one occasion) while I was writing this. I'm pretty sure I'd have given up if she hadn't encouraged me. Iza, thank you, I love you, and we need to find some way to see each other again, because that one day at con was definitely not enough <3
> 
> Anyway, any comments you may have are welcomed and appreciated! Here or on tumblr o3o
> 
> http://frostirons.tumblr.com/ask


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